June 06, 2007
WOW
You know those moments when you sleep, and you come back to consciousness, yet are groggy and still unaware of where you are or what time it is? I opened my eyes during the night to see displayed in bright LED the word WOW. I thought first to myself in my delirious state, WOW! where did that come from and soon after realizing my clock was displaying 3:03 and my head was still sideways on my pillow.
Posted by Des at 04:34 AM | Comments (0)
March 21, 2007
Questions?
Is it still spontaneous if you plan to be spontaneous? hmmmmm
Interesting evening last night. To start with, I stopped by my old employer to visit some old friends and co-workers. There was one in particular who I wanted to see and I found out he went out to work in the marketing office in Walnut Creek. I had worked a few days out there and know the folks a little so I sent him a quick email saying hi.
He emailed me back and after going back and forth a few times, he mentioned that they were looking for help out there. Ive been looking to get into a marketing field for a while now since I realized where I would like to go with my life. Ive been unhappy with my new job and loved the people at the old place. I just felt I needed to move in a different direction than working in a call center.
So my delima is this. If I persue this (and saying it happens), I would be commuting to Walnut Creek every day which shaves about 3 hours off my day with commute. I would be spending about $120 more in travel expenses. I am already up early so the commute in wouldnt really effect me but the commute back would bring me back into the city around 6:30. I get done some weeks now around 6 so it wouldnt really be too much different except I have a hard time pushing myself at the gym. The positive side is I could actually be doing a job that I would enjoy, with people I like, and a company I like which could lead me to a stronger career in photography. Ill have to give it some thought but not for too long.
I would love to hear others opinions.
Posted by Des at 06:01 AM | Comments (0)
February 14, 2007
This Mornings Going Great
Dear Blog,
Its going to be a great day. I can just feel it.
This morning has been great. I started out online chatting in the gay.com Rochester room and ‘most’ of my favorite people were on there. They are having snow which doesn’t make me happy (it doesn’t make me sad either) so everyone was online.
I tried my wireless again by pulling out the eithernet cable and the connection was still there. Weird but I wont look a gift horse in the mouth.
After talking to our landlord last night it seems very promising that the roommate situation will become final today. She just wants to check with the apartment association to find out about the lease options. She may want us to sign a new lease however both Josh and I agree that we really don’t want to do that. From the research I did, I don’t think she can but we will see what happens. Either way it should be good.
So Im on my way to work, enjoying my great morning and MUNI is taking its sweet time between Powell and Montgomery. I usually get off at Montgomery but not this morning. Muni pulls into the entrance of Montgomery Station, stops as if it still needs to pull up more, and then starts to take off until the brakes slam and its too late. The train was already past the stop.
Many mornings this would bother me but not this morning. This is my good morning.
A man screams out “Everyone should call MUNI and complain”. I chuckled in my head thinking “this is public transportation, these things happen”.
Usually I keep these things in my head but when we were getting off at Embarcadero, the same man started yelling MUNIs phone number. I couldn’t resist.
Politely I say with a smile “Its public transportation, these things happen”. He disagreed “Well they shouldn’t!”. I followed it up with “If only everything was perfect”.
I don’t think he liked me much or liked the fact I was taking on his misery with being nice and a smile. He yelled as we walked away “Have a good day asshole”. I just smiled and called him “cranky”.
He will continue to have a bad day Im sure (his choice), as I will continue this wonderful morning and truly have a great day.
And man, its only 9:30am. J
Posted by Des at 09:08 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
June 14, 2006
And I Always Thought Ste3ve was the Beagle
| You Are a Beagle Puppy |
 And you're sense of smell is absolutely amazing! |
On another note, I started working on recreating my website. Check out the main page. You may have to refresh your browser.
Posted by Des at 06:55 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 24, 2005
During The Night Out
Scene 1:
You walk into a bar and spot a really cute guy. You sit there silent. Another really cute guy walks up and sits next to the first. Your first thought is "why do the cute ones always talk end up hooking up". Then they speak and you realize they are both messes. Next thought..."thank god they're not talking to me".
Scene 2:
I am walking down 18th heading back to daddys. A cute guy looks at me. He turns his head as he passes. The guy with him smacks him. Must be his boyfriend.
Scene 3:
How will I Know blaring from the Bar On Castro. One of the first songs I ever heard in a dance club. Can't remember the year. It was way too long ago.
Scene 4:
Back to Daddys. Hanging out with my friend Manny and having a good time. Discussing the porn that's on the TV and realizing I lived those scenes. Then a face that made me realize, when people fuck, they try and be *that* guy in the video. That face where the lips are open but rounded, saying "woof fuck me". I've been on both sides of that face. Porn does nothing for me.
Posted by Des at 09:54 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 23, 2005
Two Great Feats
First: I bought a 2.5mm to 3.5mm adapter and we can now use our phones to play wireless music through the headphones with the Pulsar 590 that we got a few weeks ago. Its amazing to be able to put the phone and the adapter in my pocket and have the headset wireless, cranking out Madonnas new CD.
Second: I realized Josh's video camera can record from VHS. With this I can now convert VHS tapes to DVD.
Tomorrow, Thanksgiving with Josh's family in Roseville.
Life is good. :)
Posted by Des at 06:37 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 09, 2005
Cat On A Hot Tin Roof
I'm exhausted this morning. The reason for my exhaustion is simple. We went to the theater last night to see Cat On A Hot Tin Roof. The play was great.
This has always been one of those titles I've heard about and have been told by many how great the movie is. Its a classic. Its also the kind of movie, although I'd love to see it, would never actually rent or buy.
Going to see it on stage, I'm so glad I didn't. Although there was only one set, the acting really came through. The characters were amazing, and the actors who played them, were a step above that.
With that said, I have no desire now to see the movie. I did however think of my friend Steve, and his ever lasting devotion to Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolfe. The similarity between the two are an easy line. They both involve a drunk (at least one).
The reason I thought of Steve and the movie was that every time Rick poured himself a glass of alcohol, you could hear the ice falling in the glass, which seemed to echo when he swirled it to mix it up. Steve, if you read this, you could hear the clink clink clink. You would have loved it.
Mostly, and above all other things great and small, it was great quality time with Josh. We started with a nice pasta dinner and ended with a great time.
Its now 4:45am and I'm heading to work. We got home last night at 11:30 and I was up at 3:30. I'm exhausted this morning.
Posted by Des at 03:05 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 20, 2005
Ice Skating
Last night we went ice skating. Another company sponsored event.
All I can say is Im tired and hurt this morning.
We asked Ste3ve if he wanted to go and when he said no, I realized he was very similar to a friend of mine in Rochester who used to say he wouldnt go bowling because he "doesnt do anything which may require making a fool of himself".
Ste3ve meet John, John meet Ste3ve.
Im looking forward to a nice quiet weekend coming up. No plans, no nothing. Just relaxing at home for a change.
Posted by Des at 05:35 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 10, 2005
Growing Up
On my way to work, sitting on the train, after the turnstile delayed my ticket for the $1.25 I put in. I ran to the train as it approached and now I sit and dream.
My childhood, kids, and the things we do. Your kids probably do these things too and you may never know.
Some of the things we did, seem dangerous today. Sliding down flights of stair on a mattress. Jumping over the railing instead of finishing the flight we were so anxious to complete. We had to get to the 1st floor as soon as possible after all, playtime was limited.
So some of the other stuff about the same age of 9. Hanging from the window that lead between the 1st and 2nd floor of the apartment. Probably (in my guess) only about 8 feet high, but to a boy about d foot high thats twice his size. Note to all kids, if you do this in front of the 5th floor window, where your mom can see, you may get caught. I did and theres nothing worse than hearing your moms voice screaming your full name.
Finally fireworks. Yes at 9 years old we were allowed to have fireworks. Ok not so allowed but if we did it wasnt a big deal (unless the cops show up). Outside our apartment they took our fireworks (my sister was smart and threw hers into the doorway.
Kids will be kids I guess regardless of time or age. Sometimes we forget that we too did possibly dangerous stuff. We grow up and forget.
Posted by Des at 09:51 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 28, 2005
Dont Haight
My sister arrived last night around 11:05pm. Exhausted from traveling, we didnt stay up long.
Day 1 was slow. We started my sisters first day here with fog so bad, you could even see the tower on Twin Peaks.
We got up early and was heading to Mill Valley with Josh who had an interview, so that my sister could see the Golden Gate Bridge. The fog was not kind because you could not even make out that there was a bridge there.
So after walking around Mill Valley for about 2 hours, we finally were headed back to the city. On our way to the zoo, we got a bit hungry so we wanted to stop for lunch. We stopped in Haight since it was on the way, and ate at a greek restaurant which was delicious, however now it was nearly 3:30 and not nearly enough time for the zoo. We decided to cut the zoo out of the trip and just walk down haight street.
Finally leaving haight around 6 O'clock, we went to safeway, bought lots of junk food, and came home. We relaxed for a while and just before bed time Josh went out to get a free fish tank that he found on craigslist. Within about 10 minutes, he called me.
His muffler, which had been giving him problems, was now dragging on the ground. There really wasnt a lot that I could do, so I tried the best I could to wait up for him. He finally called and was having his car towed here. Hopefully he can get it fixed soon enough.
Sleep............
Posted by Des at 04:47 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 07, 2005
Update on the apartment
So we are slowly getting the new apartment together and noticing some problems already. There are a ton of great things about being in the new place but like any new place you begin to discover certain things.
For instance, the shower. Now for me its not too big of a deal but the shower heads are hung a bit lower than normal. To rinse off, you kind of have to crouch down a little. A bit annoying but tolorable. Josh also noticed that the hot water runs out while he is in the shower. Im not sure why because Steve and I have showered at the same time and still had hot water. We think perhaps because he is using the one shower that I use and he takes a while, that perhaps the hot water is coming out a lot faster than the other shower, so he will try using the 2nd bathroom. We'll see what happens.
Another problem are the telephone, which the line was bad. People would call in, it would ring once, and then nothing. They would hear static on the other end and when we picked up, they were still there. There was no voice mail or anything. SBC came out and fixed it yesterday so thats no longer a problem.
Finally (before listing some assets) the thermostat doesnt work. We can turn it on and off along with the fan, but we cant regulate the temperature. The downstairs seems to get very hot in the bedrooms while the rest of the place stays barely comfortable. I have called the landlord once on this and we should hopefully be getting this fixed soon as well.
So the best parts of the new apartment.....
SPACE!!!!! Can I say it again? Space, and lots of it.
Its amazing how much room there is here. Having two floors is amazing. We arent bumping into each other at every point in the house and hell, sometimes we are lucky if we realize we're in the same room as one another.
The view is amazing. It was nice to sit outside on the upper deck with my coffee and laptop, and be surrounded by open air. Its nice to fall asleep downstairs facing the sliding glass doors and just look out over the city and stars (when the fog isnt around).
Its nice to have a huge foyer area downstairs which we are using as an office (the office is as big as both the bedrooms combined). Its fantastic to have our computers in a seperate room so that we dont have to worry about disturbing each other while we sleep.
Steve of course is happy having a huge bedroom (the size of our office space), he can fit everything he has in there and still have room to move.
Finally, the washer and dryer are fantastic to have as an asset. Its nice to be able to throw a load in the washer and still go about your business around the house. Im sure everyone knows how nice that is.
Well enough about the new place. We still have to finish unpacking and getting settled but its going by slowly. We have to clean the old place this Saturday and then we will be done. Steve goes away a week from Friday and my sister will be here in less than 3 weeks. Did I mention how excited I am that she's coming to visit?
Work is going great. I finally got a full paycheck this week and it turned out to be about $40 less a week than my old job. Weird how the more you make, the more taxes they take out. $40 doesnt seem like much when you compare it to about $6 an hour less or 9k less a year. Im feeling pretty good about it all now and they actually do stuff together.
This Sunday will be a six flags picnic and they scheduled a murder mystery for the beginning of September. Apparently one of the biggest hotel owners in SF will be there joining us as well. I hate to say it (ok Im happy to say it), I underestimated this job because of the pay. Its turning out to be a smart move on my part.
Well thats the update. Hope everyone is well and hope to keep in touch more now that things are finally going a bit better. Till next time......
Posted by Des at 05:25 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
June 22, 2005
Catch up time once again
Ok, so where to begin except the weekend. Short and quick (one thing I hate about working again), it was nice.
Saturday afternoon I received my massage from Greene which was amazing and very much needed. She gave me a complimentary massage which was nice. She has been in the same boat as Josh, being that she graduated the same time he did, moved to San Francisco (she is originally from here), and recently opened a practice in the sunset 2 days a week. In order to keep her skills flowing, not to mention use the space she's paying for, she asked if we wanted complimentary body work. I said yes, went there Saturday, and received some amazing work.
The afternoon was relaxing and I napped until my friend John from Rochester called to hang out. He was in Sacramento on business and extended his weekend so he could come visit good ole San Francisco. It was more of a drinking night than touring SF and I finally broke out of the Castro.
One thing everyone should know about San Francisco is that if you live in the Castro, you seldom leave the Castro to go drinking. Same holds true for SOMA (South Of Market Area), and other areas of the city.
So John wanted to find a dance club which I insisted there wasnt anything of the sort here. The closest I knew was the Polk Street bars and so off we went to explore. We stopped at NTouch first since it was the first one we came to that I recognized the name. After walking through the door I realized that this was the asian club I had heard of for a while. My friend Rick had talked about it several times and I read in his blog that he went there a few weeks for the first time.
Being sober and in dire need of a cocktail, we decided to stay for a quick drink and leave since it was quiet. John bought the first round and made mine a double (Jack & Coke OUCH!).
We walked up to Cinch and peeked in. I had no clue it wasnt a dance club, nor did I know they had a back deck where there may have been people. Needless to say, we didnt go inside because we didnt see anyone there.
We hopped a cab to Stud which I wasnt really thrilled with either. $9 cover to get in and $12 for 2 drinks. WOW!!! There was a total of 29 people there (I counted), and really not as exciting as any of the bars in Castro.
So back to Castro we went to seek out dancing. We decided to go to Cafe, which I had been to before but thought was lame. We settled in there for the rest of the night and John ran into a guy from Rochester that he ummmm "knew" and finally made it home by 2am. I was definitely drunk.
Sunday was a day of relaxing I guess. Josh being in Santa Cruz for the weekend, I pretty much had the day open. I wanted to head to beer bust and promised John we would hang out some more.
We went to Orphan Andys for lunch and ate with my roommate Ste3ve and our friend Eric. Food was ok but wasnt sitting right after the Jack & Cokes the night before.
John and I ended up heading to Ocean Beach because he wanted to see the Pacific Ocean. We went out there, watched the water, saw the surfers, and relaxed a bit. Not a lot more to say, I mean its the Ocean, slightly breezy, and not a huge beach crowd (although some).
He went to nap, and I went to beer bust. Now ususally I love beer bust because it gives me a chance to see some people I enjoy hanging out with. NONE of them were there. I did run into a few people I knew but nothing to keep me there for the duration. Josh, Steve, Jay, and a few others were missing so I left after an hour and 3 beers. The porn boys getting body painted in their jock straps werent enough to hold me (then again, they do nothing for me anyway).
So thats about it. Back home, Josh came home, we hung out more for a bit, got some dinner, and relaxed. Work again Monday. Last night we had dinner with his other friend Steve which was a birthday dinner for Josh from May. We went to Azis on Folsom and although the prices were a bit high, the food was incredible. I had some kind of salmon with a tangerine glaze which I have to say was the best salmon Ive ever had. It was a nice place and for the first time I can say, size didnt matter. Ok size never matters and I just require guys to be breathing but thats another story.
So Day 4 of work was good. Im finally seeing the people there as people which is nice. Learning more and more and actually finding some excitement in working again. Details as we go.
Today is day 6, one week, and Im sure it will go by like the rest of them. Hopefully I wont be held up this evening since Josh wants to spend some quality time together (and I agree its a good idea). Im not sure where we will go but tonight (hopefully) it will be just him and I. We need some alone time which has been scarce lately.
Thats about it for the update. Wishing everyone the best and lots of love.
Posted by Des at 05:27 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
June 08, 2005
Another Quickie
Well today went well. I called and got the PG&E (gas & electric) set up for July 1st at the new place. I also called and had the phone switched over as well. All thats left is the cable and we are set to move in. Josh already brought a few boxes over which was ok'd by the landlord as long as its not a lot of stuff before the 1st.
I heard back about the intensive interviews and they want me to come in tomorrow for a full day interview. Ill be there from 7am-3:30pm on the phones with the current employees, getting an idea of what the environments like, and asking questions. Sounds pretty promising to me but theres always that chance they could say "um sorry, no deal". I doubt it at this point but could happen.
It will be nice to go back to work and this time for a company that I choose. A place thats friendly, hard working, and a good place to be. Granted you cant really tell all that from interviews but for as many people as Ive talked to, they couldnt stop boasting about the place. From what I saw while I was there and what I read on their website, it really looks as if they have good quality people working there who all are accountable for the work they do. There really isnt any room for slackers, so thats one good thing I wont have to worry about. Taking on the work load I usually do and having other people do half their share.
Anyway, I have a really good feeling about it all. The people seem to actually enjoy their jobs there. Hopefully the pay will be as good as I feel I deserve. The range was quite a jump from one end of the spectrum to the other.
As for Josh, his interview went well also. They had him fill out an application after the interview which I thought was a bit odd since they have his resume and have already interviewed him. Perhaps its proceedure but who knows. He also got a call from another place which he will be following up on. It made him feel good that someone actually called him rather than the opposite way around.
I can totally appreciate that feeling because for some reason, when we dont hear back from resumes that we've submitted, it makes us doubt our strengths. Things like "perhaps there was something wrong with my resume" or " maybe they dont like whats on it". Thats just me but Im sure there are similar things going on in other peoples heads when that happens.
So things are looking up. Still havent decided on Sacramento pride just yet. If Im starting work on Monday, Im not sure I want a busy weekend even if it is just Saturday. So we shall see.
Posted by Des at 09:12 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
June 01, 2005
Some Good News!
We got some good news on Monday evening. We got the apartment we were hoping to get. This morning we are heading over there to sign the lease.
I still have fears on survival. The whole job delima has gotten to me. On one hand I dont want to be working when my sister comes (Jason for that matter) but on the other hand I need to be working again and making money so I can buy stuff (not to mention support myself) for the new apartment.
Ive sent in resume after resume, and have had several interviews and so far nothing has panned out. Last night I sent a resume for a bartending position in a gay club downtown. Im really hoping to hear something from them and the hours seem perfect for what I need.
4 nights a week and one happy hour. That would fit right into what I want. Id have my days free to spend time with the people visiting and still be able to make money to live on and buy cool stuff. I really want a table and chairs for the deck along with a grill. I want to be able to decorate some without worrying about how. Id like to know that I have an income for both of us can fall back on.
As for Josh, he's in the same boat of frustrations. Unlike me, he doesnt have much money coming in right now and has been feeling the pressure. Although I try my hardest to have patience and understanding, the both of us being in this position has made things stressful. Im hoping everything pans out the way Id like and soon we will all be employed with jobs we want not to mention suite our schedules.
Today he goes to a place in Castro to give body work and hopefully get a job there. He is also supposed to sign the papers for the office space he rented. Hopefully that will fall into place as well.
I guess the key is to have faith but sometimes faith gets blinded by the reality of our existance. Lets hope faith pays off.
Posted by Des at 07:37 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 04, 2005
I wont confess how much Im enjoying it here
So its 9:16am and I finally am sitting down after several days to journal. Ive been meaning to get around to it for the past few days and Im sure if I had a high speed connection, it would have been done sooner but all those downloads and even checking email makes it difficult.
So here I am day 7. To recap after journaling last, its been hard getting used to. Tough being without a TV, Charmed, having access to email in more ways than just a laptop on a dial up connection. I love my mac and miss it alot more than you could possibly know. I missed having my morning coffee (until this morning).
Finally caffine. God, a whole week without caffine makes desmond a dull boy. This morning Im feeling pretty good about things. The past few days were exceptional (yesterday in particular).
So to fill everyone in on my week, Sunday was a good day. Sunday started with the maypole celebration. It was a celebration of spring in which they call the spirits in all directions and feel the energy to celebrate spring. Ok, there are a lot more details which I dont know but it was nice to be a part of. From what I know and I may be wrong, it is a pagan ritual/holiday where we chanted to songs like "she changes everything she touches and everything she touches changes" and "weave and spin, weave and spin, this is how the work begins. Mend and heal, mend and heal, take the dream and make it real".
They danced, holding a piece of ribbon tied to the maypole, and weaving in and out of each other as they danced around the pole, making the ribbon weave onto the pole like a colorful creation by the workers who have been given a great force of energy. It was nice.
Also, pictures of coffee house are also online. From what everyone tells me (as well as hearing them tell each other), it was one of the best coffee houses in history. I like to think my Josh had a lot to do with it. Their skit was definitely fun (in an S&M/bodywork sort of way).
As for the rest of the week, well Ive come back to earth, so to speak, from city life and all the life there. We tend to forget how much life there is elsewhere. In the forests, in the trees, across the land. So in spite of the bugs, the spiders, the bees, the creepy silk works that land on your shoulder unexpectedly, you still have the deer (although they are pretty to look at, they still scare me as if they were going to eat me alive). The deer literally come within 10 feet of you and dont even flinch when you approach them. There are the wild turkeys which also scare me but are definitely interesting to watch fly about 10-15 feet. There are also humming birds, blue birds, and lots of cool nature stuff.
Being surrounded by all of this made me think "why was I so resistant". I realized that I was so resistant because this was the life I gave up long before Rochester, and it was like going backwards in time to a place I really dont belong anymore.
For those who dont know, I grew up in the country, had my addictions to LSD, Mushrooms, Pot, Crystal Meth, and had pretty much been the party animal, neglecting my life as it went by. I didnt see at that time all the positives in my life and never really had direction. Of course I was 23 at the time and does anyone really have focus at that age?
So needless to say, when I escaped that life (got my shit together so to speak), I never wanted to go back to that life again. Here at Heartwood, Im finding that I can enjoy those things I used to without having that life again. Instead its a life filled with nature walks, community, people who care, and people who believe whats in the hearts. People who dream and people who want to help others. People who see everyone as beautiful and people who have a lot to offer.
So despite the bad, there are many good things here as well (shhh dont tell Josh Im starting to enjoy it a bit).
Ive also been able to get 3 sessions, one by Josh, one by his friend Jana, and another last night from his friend Melissa. I have to say, they were all fantastic in the own way. I really enjoyed last nights session with Melissa. She is definitely one of my favorite people here (although everyone seems so great).
Speaking of favorites, I also enjoy Green who is going to be in the SF area once she leaves here. We spent some time together yesterday while Josh was in class, and took a walk up to the top of the airstrip here. Up on top, you have a 360 degree view of the land, the mountains, and the world for that matter. It was kind of a feeling of freedom and it always brings us back down to earth to realize there is a whole world going on out there and people living their lives, animals living their lives, and the who BIG picture.
It was nice to get a chance to talk with Green about our lives, our historys, and our futures. She is an amazing person and I truly hope she gets everything she desires. She really deserves it.
So today I get to do some packing for Josh while he's in class. Ill pack up some books and clothes, and try and help get ready for Friday morning. Next stop graduation and then back to visit my mac in SF.
Posted by Des at 09:12 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 09, 2005
Outplacement Workshop Part 1
Today went by quickly. I started the morning early as usual (up at 5am) however I actually slept until the alarm went off, which is unusual for me. Usually Im up before the alarm. Guess my body needed sleep.
Anyway, I was on the phone again with sprint trying to get help in setting up my VersaMail account. Ive tried everything and know its set up right. After another grueling conversation, I ended up with a supervisor who agreed to at least try and help me out. They didnt want to help because its a 3rd party email account rather than sprint. Guess buying 2 top of the line phones wasnt enough.
So its a good thing I didnt have to leave until later this morning and thankfully I had the outplacement workshop which was here in the city. No Bart for me today. YAY!!!
I was expecting the workshop to be pretty basic, you know, teach me the stuff I already know but kept an open mind. It turned out I learned quite a bit about what I want to do and where I want to go. I actually learned Im on the right path and my decision will be made regardless.
The one thing that didnt resonate with me is the issue's of resume's. I know the structure has changed so much over the years but I found it a bit insulting to hear "Im here to convince you that your resume is crap". Especially since I did my homework, research building it from scratch, and had MANY job offers with it when I arrived. Im pretty proud of my resume and to be told it isnt up to standard really doesnt sit well with me.
One thing that was kind of cool is the test we took. It was the old Myers & Briggs test which shows your strengths and weaknesses. I was kind of amazed how accurate it was for me.
Flexible and tolerant, they take a pragmatic approach focused on immediate results. Theories and conceptual explanations bore them-- they want to act energetically to solve the problem. Focus on the here-and-now, spontaneous, enjoy each moment that they can be active with others. Enjoy material comforts and style. Learn best through doing.
Some career choices for me would be Entrepreneur, Executive, Promotion, Development, Performing Arts, and Architecture.
Interesting......
So I now have homework due upon arrival for part 2 on Friday. I need to redo my resume to what they want to see. Yes, some of the idea's were good but to rework the entire resume, just for their benefit is just plain silly. Its time and work that I dont need to do.
We got out of there about an hour early which means I was home early. Nice!!!! For some reason I was really tired and a bit droopy (if that even explains it). I had no energy and just wanted to lay there and not move. It was almost as if I had done something physical that wore my body out.
After watching TV and still trying to screw with my email on my palm, my friend Rick called. He wanted to meet and hang out for a bit, so I met him down in the Castro. Its always nice seeing him, although I went through a quick re-evaluation of our friendship just a few months ago. Sometimes after meeting someone and hanging out with them a few times (in this case quite a bit), you still dont get to know the person. Finally I think Im understanding him more and really becoming comfortable in our friendship.
Its funny but he just became part of a relationship and one thing I really admire is that he hasnt dropped off the face of the earth and is still destined to keep his friendships. He is the type who knows everyone and I actually feel honored that with all the people he knows, he chooses to hang out with me. Not that Im not worth hanging out with, but just most people in his place dont have time for ALL their friends. I seem to get a bit more of the share than most which makes me feel like I actually have a friend here. At least someone who is on their way to becoming a good friend.
So that about it, my day in a nutshell (what does that mean exactly? In a nutshell?). Tomorrow its back in the office (where Ill use my time to do my resume *chuckle*) and then Friday its back to the workshop.
Also tomorrow is a baby shower for Loretta, a girl I work with who finally after all this time, have been getting to know better. Too bad its almost over. She's actually a really great person and pretty cool about things. Today she pointed out the obvious and that with everything going on, how important it is to like your job. Its also noticable at home when you like your job because you end up boasting about your day in a positive way. If you hate it, it becomes negative and brief.
How was your day? Great, I did this and this and so and so did that.
or
How was your day? It sucked. How was yours?
Guess you catch the drift.
Well Im off to dreamland soon so Ill end here. Monday my computer comes YAY!!! Ive gotta make room and set up for my new baby. Perhaps that will be tomorrow night. *smile*
Posted by Des at 09:07 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 26, 2005
Questions & Doctors
Start this off with something I wrote while on my way to work *chuckle*
Questions Without Words
-----------------------
I look.
I see a man
He see me & smiles
He's cute
He continues to look and flirt
Just 2 of us in that moment
Does he have a bf?
Does he care if I do?
Will we meet again on another train?
Will there be that moment once more?
Will we ever speak?
Does he get off at my stop?
My stop is here.
He continues on.
Next day
I see him again, he looks my way
I notice his eyes light up as I notice him
I smile once more, he smiles too
Almost in complete unison
Im at one end, he at another
People obstruct our view
Smiles at every opportunity
Who is he?
does he have a bf?
Does he care if I do?
Id like to know more but rejection is hard.
Will there be that moment once more?
Will we ever speak.
Finally my stop.
I give a slight wave of acknowledgement.
As I head off the train.
Another day without words.
So this evening I go to the doctors. Im finally getting the bump on my head checked to make sure nothings wrong. For those of you who dont know, I noticed this bump several years ago (about 6) and thought it as odd that I had never noticed it before that. Everyone said I should have it checked but I figurd if it wasnt bothering me then it wasnt a big deal.
Its still not bothering me but it seemed to shift and perhaps got a bit bigger. Im wondering if it doesnt have something to do with my being tired more often lately. Ive also been feeling a bit dizzy lately and slightly off balance. Ive been seeing on occassion, things out of the corner of my eye, that arent really there. It could be my neglect when I wear my contacts for days on end without taking them out of cleaning them, but it could be from this bump as well. Or perhaps both are connected in some way.
Either way, I have to admit, Im a bit scared. I mean what if they want to do surgery. This is my head we're talking about. What if they do surgery and I become dull and boring all of a sudden? God that would be aweful.
---------------------------
The day begins and ends......
So this morning the rain decided to revisit us. Downpours, but this time I was ready with my trusty umbrella. The wind was blowing hard as I walked to the Muni.
As I was waiting on the platform for the train to come, I noticed across on the other platform a man. This man would appear straight in every was except for the wrist. The wrist was gently hanging limp as if a str8 man was mocking the gays. It reminded me a bit of Shaun of the Dead or a cop movie where they had to pose as someone within a specific community in order to infiltrate the group. You know, it was like he was trying to blend in with the rest of the gays. If for some reason he found himself in the gay district and in order to complete his mission he had to pose as a gay man. Comedy? Yes, as he wasn’t doing a great job of it. Reality says, this is the Castro and he was definitely gay.
This morning was a "check transfer" morning on Muni which happens on occasion. For those who are not familiar with this, the transfer pass is the ticket you get when you pay to ride. The ticket is good for 90 minutes and will allow you to reboard or transfer to a Muni bus during that time period. It also acts as proof of purchase.
Now my thought is this. Although there are signs everywhere saying "please retain your transfer as this will be your proof of purchase", so many people don’t bother taking them. Im curious to witness that person who did not take their ticket and is asked to show proof. Ive only been asked to show it about 4 times since Ive been here riding the Muni but could only think how embarrassed I would be if I didn’t have it and needed it. How would the scene play out? They would be fumbling for something they don’t have. They would then be fined and then they would most likely be made to get off the train. Glad I keep my pass.
Ok, so I get off the Muni and now heading to Bart. I hear over the Bart announcement that the Pittsburg/Bay Point train is on a 15 minute delay. This is one of the 3 trains that I can catch to get to work, one of which operates on the same track as the one that’s on delay, however does not go the full length. My first thought was *BLANK* and that I was going to be late. My only hope was 2 trains and one which ran infrequently and was very rare to catch. The other, hopefully wasn’t delayed as well. As I started down the escalator, I heard them announce the Concord train was now boarding. This was the rare one that I could take, so like a bolt of lightning, I shot down the escalator, and made the train. Made it on time with luck on my side. How lucky will the rest of the day be? Lets not forget the doctors later on.
Ok so on to the doctors....
What can I say, it was an interesting trip to the doctors. First Id like to point out that I have never been to a doctors office where I wanted to sleep with so many cute guys. The place was filled with cute, young, gay, men. It was fantastic but I couldnt help thinking "this is my doctors visit. This shouldnt be like this". Then of course the thought "Im in the Castro, of course its going to be like this".
So my doctor turns out is a great guy. He examined the bump on my head and advised me that it was only a cyst. He said he would "remove it there however the head tends to bleed alot and he didnt want the mess". Therefore he was referring me to a dermatologist for the removal. He also referred me again for my icthyosis (skin condition). He prescribed a lotion that is supposed to help so we will see. He thinks my skin will be cleared up before I ever visit the specialist.
Along with the lump on my head (previously known as "My Tuma"), I also mentioned that I was having headaches. He asked a few questions and finally determined they were tension headaches. Caused by stress of course.
So while we are talking and actually laughing (who knew Id enjoy talking with my doctor), he is writing the prescription. After he is done with the prescription for the lotion, he starts writing again. While he is writing and we are talking, he tells me he is writing me a prescription for valium. Ok, Im thinking this is weird as he proceeds to tell me "I dont usually prescribe valium to people without asking questions, but you seem like someone I can trust". Valium, can you believe it? lol... I found out from a good friend, that I should only take half a pill if I decide to get it filled.
Ok, so Im a bit nervous because Ive never taken it before. I always get worried on things like this. I mean, pills? Come on. I know what they do. This is going to turn me into a vegitable Im sure. Last thing I need is to be falling asleep at work which is already tiring enough. Josh is recommending other treatments, which I may just do. Perhaps I need more answers.
He did show me a cool technique to help with the tension. I tried the exercise and it really did help a little. It should come in handy during the work day when I feel the stress building up in the back of my neck.
So thats really all thats been going on lately. Ill try and update soon.
Posted by Des at 05:34 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 19, 2005
Not a lot to say
Well not a whole lot to say. It was a pretty mellow day. I was expecting to hear back from Tech Skills on the interview yesterday but havent heard anything. My guess is that I didnt get the job. At least I tried I guess.
The interview yesterday seemed to go well however the key factor that came into play is that CA has certifications for billing and coding. Weird to me but still. Anyway, with all my experience and knowledge (which still counts for a lot), doesnt hold water without that piece of paper. I can totally appreciate where they are coming from, I mean they teach this stuff and certify people. Its like teaching HS without a diploma. There is still a chance but Im not going to count on it.
They did mention something about me working toward the certification as I work for them. If that does become the case, that would be great. I would work days (or evenings) and use my other time obtaining the certificate. I still have a bit of hope that it will happen but wont give up my day job lol.
As for the day job, things seem to be coming to a steady lull. That woman has become friendlier toward me. My guess is that one person can not go every day being miserable, sitting and sulking, with their face to their computer. So it was beat them or join them and she decided to join.
Today we went to lunch in China Town in Oakland. The place was Jade Villa and it was definitely a new experience for me. There was no real menu but in the middle of a table of 10 chairs, was a lazy susan. The wait staff rolled carts around with various stuff. Things I had never seen before. There were puffs of shrimp, and other weird stuff and they would place small servings on the lazy susan so that everyone at the table could help themselves with a turn.
Ive been thinking about the journal more too. I feel like Im losing sight of why I started this. Originally it was to document the changes and the differences between Rochester and San Francisco. Then it was different thoughts, emotions, and ideas. Now it seems to have become the regular, every day life. I guess thats how it should be but cant help but feel a loss.
Before I left Rochester, I took a training class on change. The main thing I brought out of that class was that there are 3 stages. The before, the transition, and after. The part most people are afraid of isnt the change itself, but the transition. The before is the day to day life we live, the after is where we end up, the transition however, is all that stuff in the middle. The not knowing whats going to happen, the fear of what you are leaving behind, the uncertainties of each and every moment in your life. I finally feel past the transition and in the end stages. Its no longer different, but more familiar in many ways than I ever thought possible. With that, theres that sense of loss yet a sense of stability for reaching the end.
So on to other stuff. Todays my moms birthday. Happy Birthday Mom! She also had surgery on Monday and made it home today. Hope you are feeling better.
Posted by Des at 09:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 12, 2005
2005, Time for Change (hoping)
So today was a good day. I went into work and no plans of being fired. At least from my senses. I mean, they are so backed up and I produce a ton of work compared to most others. Not to mention they havent been able to fill the one position thats been open for several months now. My guess is, they need me. Ive determined however I may not need them.
So my days have been better at work. *that* woman seems to be warming up to me finally *chuckle*. My guess? Ive been becoming very chummy with all the others in the department and poor *that* woman has been being left out. Soooooo I decided its ok if she contributes to the conversation and have allowed her to laugh with us. We still laugh by ourselves behind her back. So its keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer.
Well the systems were down at work today so the morning was spent relaxing. We had a meeting which was long over due. Boring to the rest of the world. Which brings me to the interview.
Yes, my interview at Tech Skills . How was it you ask? It was fantastic. I think I made a really good impression on the director and met with several other trainers there. I think I made a good impression on all of them however some more than others. The director told me at the end, she already likes me which was a good sign in my book.
Tuesday I go back for another interview. This will be the biggest test. I will meet the big boss from Las Vegas and interview with him. Keep your fingers crossed because if all goes well, Ill have a job I may actually love going to. Im pretty good with people (so Ive been told), and Ive been told I would make a great trainer. Im also great with software and computers (although I could always be better). All these add up to a great place to be. The best part will be the distance. It will cut my commute in half and I would never have to go to Oakland again.
The only other thing to mention is that my pay went up this week due to the 26 pay weeks in 2005 compared to 27 in 2004. This was a nice bonus. I am also wondering about tax time. Ive never made this amount in a year and dont really know what to expect. I will also have two state taxes to fill out. Hmmmmm, filing my first CA taxes. This should be interesting.
Lets see... This evening I updated my webpage with some Pictures I scanned of family and friends from about 10 years ago or better.
I also chatted with a friend on gay.com who gave my resume to a doctor he knows. The position is for an office manager and apparently pays $30/hr. That would be a nice salary as well but I still think Im hoping for the job I interviewed for today.
So thats about it. Life is good and I wont complain. At least not for tonight.
Posted by Des at 06:27 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 15, 2004
The week so far
Ok so I havent kept up much on the journal this week but Ive been busy so lay off! hehe
This week has been pretty busy. Josh and I decided that if we could do it in time, we wanted to create our own Christmas cards. Monday after work, I stopped at Union Square to take some pictures. I also went to the park (I forget the name) behind the Metreon which is known to be a beautiful place to be (and it was).
So it was great to feel like a photographer. My only goal there was to take pictures and there was nothing stopping this man on a mission. I didnt want to spend a lot of time, so I just took as many pictures in as many different angles and figured I would take what I get. Its funny but I wasnt looking at people or sights but scenery and how it was laid out, what surrounded Union Square, and the back drops. I looked at the stores and thought how many were big names that werent in Rochester. Stores I now have access to like Macy's, The Apple Store, and Sax 5th Avenue. Ok so the only place Ive been in out of the 3 was the Apple store. :-)
Funny thing with my camera is I must have looked like a tourist. A man handing out fliers mumbled something to the effect to take a flier and something about pretty babes lol. I must have looked straight. When I told him "no thank you", he asked where I was from (again looking like a tourist). It was nice to say "Im from San Francisco". God it really felt natural coming out of my mouth. It felt comfortable and flowed without even thinking too much about it until afterwards.
So many people have asked me over the past 6 months where I was from and of course the only answer was from Rochester. It seems different now. It seems like I belong here. I am becoming a San Franciscan, Oh boy!
Union Square Christmas Pictures
Also if you are interested and havent had a chance to see the Heartwood pictures from the weekend, you can check those out here as well.
Next thing up is that cute red head guy. I guess I should start calling him by his name because he is now dating my roommate. Yes things worked out between them and they have been seeing each other every day now since I fixed them up on Friday night. Hooray, Im so happy for them. Chad seems like a really nice guy and St3ve deserves someone nice. I really hope it works out and if it doesnt, I hope it doesnt come back to bite me in the ass. We all know thats an option as well lol.
Well thats about it. Work has been nice since *that woman* isnt around. I have been in training all week (which after 5 months of doing the job, really isnt training). Anyway, Im enjoying the break away from the normal routine even if I do already know most of whats being trained. The training is mainly for a new girl who started about a month ago and just got hired about 2 weeks ago direct. I dont mind watching and perhaps learning a few new things.
As for everything else, Josh starts break tomorrow for 2 weeks. I cant wait. I know I just saw him last weekend but you just cant have enough Josh in your diet. Its true, I love him and he knows it. Crazy guy! hehe..
I guess this is a good place to end. Hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday season.
Posted by Des at 05:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 08, 2004
Photography Briefing
Well there really hasnt been too much happening this week. I am heading up to see Josh late Friday night and going to finally see Heartwood and northern CA. Im leaving late Friday night and should arrive bright and early Saturday morning. Ill only get to spend Saturday there and then head back to SF Sunday morning but Im thinking it will be worth it.
So I looking forward to getting some free body work done. I get to be Josh's homework for swedish massage, and I am going to get some Polarity and Cranio-Sacral from another guy up there and then perhaps some reiki. I just hope theres enough time to see the mountain and spend quality time together. :-)
As for other stuff this week. Ive finally been organizing my pictures which has become a project in its own. Im hoping to get them posted on my webpage which Im also trying to redesign. All of that has definately been time consuming.
Ive also finally figured out how to use the manual settings on my camera. Although I dont really understand completely how to use them, I at least understand how aperture and shutter speed effects the focus, depth of field, and prevents blurred images. I understand how the light goes through the lens to expose, over expose, or under expose based on those settings.
Aperture - the lower settings allow more light to come in and allows foreground and backround to remain more focused. This occurs because theres more light coming in which over exposes the picture. The higher settings allow less light to come through, which makes the backround more blurred and the foreground or subject stands out more. I think of it like making a tiny hole and looking through it. If you look through a tiny hole, you can only really focus on whats in front of you. The edges seem blurred but when you open the hole more, you can see clearer whats around the object. Make sense?
Shutter - how long the shutter stays open. The lower settings allow the shutter to stay open longer allowing more light to enter the lens. This is used mainly when you have a tripod and have a still subject with perhaps lower lighting. The higher settings allow the shutter to open and close quicker which not only allows less light to get in (under exposed), but also allows to take better pictures of movement without blurring the picture. Make sense?
Both of these together as well as ISO which is the speed of the film (simulated in digital I believe), allow for better photography. The ISO is how sensitive the film is to light. So when combined with aperture and shutter speed, its how quickly the image will be processed and has plenty to do with the exposure.
So thats what I know and now to try and apply this knowledge (hoping I have a good understanding of it), and become more experienced with photographs.
As for everything else in my life, its all going smoothly. Meeting new people and enjoying life.
Till next time.
Posted by Des at 07:43 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 01, 2004
In regards to my last post
So I may need to clarify my posting from yesterday. In no way did this reflect that I am unhappy in any way. It was merely an observation after waking up and saying to myself "God another day where I have to get ready for work".
I did ovserve people yesterday and came to an opinion that the body is just merely a host for our spirits. I watched people move, talk, and live life and thought how mechanical we all are. I thought of the body snatchers and wondered how untrue to life is that really. Why couldnt a spirit or essence inhabit a body as a host to live? Why couldnt the body be a shell for a life form?
But getting back on track of yesterdays post, is life too short or too long? I heard debates from the other side saying it was way too short, pointing out that the fact that a 2 year old could pass on without ever knowing what Christmas could really be. A mother could pass away without ever seeing her child grow up. I believe in these tragedies and my heart goes out. I believe perhaps their time with us was short and that we would have loved to spend more time with these people who are important to us. We would have loved to have them in our lives just a bit longer. Theres no denying that.
My question is if these thoughts and feelings are for our own sake? Are these all part of our selfish nature? Is this an injustice to us because we didnt get everything we wanted and needed? I think it may have been an injustice to the people we lost to make them stick around and live out such a long existance. Guess it comes back to my thought that life is longer than we expect. They say it goes by fast and in many ways, it does. We grow older and time has flown by, however when we look at the *now* and reflect on the future, and the past, I see how long it truly is.
With that a discussion came about having kids and when seeing a child grow, day by day, year after year, it tends to fly by much quicker. I agree with this but also know time goes by at the same rate for each and every individual. a minute is still 60 seconds, an hour is still 60 minutes, and a day still has 24 hours. Cant escape that logic.
I believe there are advantages and disadvantages to having children. I was allowing myself to be open minded and know that there are always satisfactions in having children. I know there are many things I missed out on by not having kids. Many people over the years have told me what a great father I would be. It would be nice to see that road and see the differences. Truth is, however, that I didnt take that path and I am still happy. I gained other things in the process. I have met some wonderful and influential people to my life. I have lived a life that I am happy with. I have done things and gone places that I may not have been able to go and Im free to continue doing anything I want without having to sacrafice my time for my children. For some, they dont mind and are happy. For me, I needed and still need my freedom.
With that said, I will agree that until you have lived in the other persons shoes, and lived the same life they have lived, there is no way to know what we have truly gained and lost through out time. There is no way to judge the point of mine/their happiness in the present without knowing where they have come from, what makes them happy, and without knowing how it feels to be the other person on the other side of the fence. I accept there is joy in both sides and its just a matter of taking a different path. Both paths are enjoyable Im sure.
Posted by Des at 05:40 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 03, 2004
Election Day is gone
Well I went to bed early last night, thinking to myself "I hate to go to sleep without knowing who wins but Im just so exhausted. Ill figure it out tomorrow". With that I awoke to confussion and the first thing I wanted to know was who our president is today. I was shocked to see (however I shouldnt have been) that there was no winner as of yet. My first reaction was that Florida fucked it up again with their 3 democratic counties that had 90,000 absentee ballots that would not be counted till Thursday but I was wrong. Ohio hmmmmm..... I did find out later because of the long polling lines and time delays for voting(unconstituational from what I hear but Im no lawyer)did allow for many younger, new voters, to abandon ship without casting a vote. So I awoke.
I found once again (similar to 4 years ago) that the country is in a state of confussion and in my opinion the weakness showed to the terrorist countries and because of George W's tantrum with the recount, it allowed us to be attacked several months later. Yes thats my opinion. I accept those words and own them 100%.
So the sadness came when they did announce that Bush was re-elected. I guess I cant understand how a country is so full of hate. They want to teach the children about family values but hate is not a family value (I know you have heard that saying before). My guess is that people put others into catagories. They dont see individuals such as you and I, who think, feel, live, work, and breath. They see rich people, minorities, gays, unmarried, prochoice, and the list goes on. I wish they could see how personal it is. If they ever had someone from those groups ask them face to face, "why do you hate me so much", I wonder what their response would be?
So again I ask how? how could this happen? It makes me sad to think about how much we have to lose by this and not just as gay men. This isnt about gay marriage and the right to marry your partner. To me its the bigger picture. The country, the families, and all the people who will suffer.
The war? well the war is just a plot to take over the world which Ive associated both George and Dick with Pinky and the brain.
Pinky: "What are we going to do tonight"
Brain: "Same thing we do every night, try and take over the world"
Yeah, I dont see it as a war against terrorism. Its a war of the worlds. Luck would have it that Saddam Hussain was captured but what else has happened? Has he really protected us? Does the rest of the world fear him? laugh at him? or perhaps just not care. My perception is that the world looks at us as weak. If you are afraid of terrorism, and you voted for Bush, then in my opinion (yes mine alone and I own my opinions), you have just reelected the boogie man to keep your bedroom safe from monsters. On a realer analogy, you have reelected a pyromaniac to watch your house for fires.
Well I could go on but I wont. Possitive things, most of the propositions that I wanted got passed. The reform of the 3 strikes law still amazes me that it didnt get passed as well as the fact that mandatory DNA samples for criminal acts did get passed. Interesting....
To finish up real quick, got home, furnace guy (who I found out is originally from Spencerport), came on time, installed the thermostat, and now I have heat that works on its own. Im happy.
Hope everyone has a great night.
Posted by Des at 07:47 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 27, 2004
Cold Cold Cold/ Eclipse
Ok, so Ive determined that its cold in hell. Im living it right now without heat. I called the landlord finally and she gave me the number to the people who handle the furnace. They cant come out till Monday afternoon which means Ill be living like this for another 5 days. Ugh......
So the day was good, work was good, nothing extreme, just normal work.
This evening, my friend Rick called which Im glad. He was in the neighborhood and wanted to stop by so he did. We went down to Starbucks, watched a bit of the eclipse, and then came home. It was nice spending time with him this evening since I dont usually go out during the week and with St3ve gone, it was nice to have another human to talk to instead of sitting in silence.
Anyway, the Eclipse. My second one this year. Kind of cool that I was able to catch one on the east coast before moving and now one on the west coast. I have to admit though, if youve seen one, youve seen em all. Its kind of funny how people will stand around watching it time and time again like its something new. Anyway, it was cool to look at for about a minute and then I was over it lol.
So thats the day.... Tomorrow I get to bake a cake. Friday we are having a party at work and I promised to make a scary cake. Hopefully it will turn out the way I want. Chocolate Cake, Chocolate pudding on top, chocolate cookies crushed up to reflect dirt, milano cookies for tombstones, gummi worms, and marshmallow ghosts. sounds delicious now lets see if I can make it lol.
Hope everyone is having a wonderful night. Hugs and kisses to all.
Posted by Des at 09:21 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 06, 2004
Rank Choice Voting
So lets see... I havent written anything in a few days and figured I would try and fill the gap. I havent really been up to anything except processing information and dealing with some issues Ive been having. I finally reached the point where I really needed to sit down and think things through about life, liberty, and the persuit of *my* happiness.
Anyway, Im working on those things but on to today.
This morning was a good morning. I didn't realize how great it was till after I was already out the door. I was going to leave my camera at home because I figured "why would I need it?" but then I saw it. The sky was a beautiful pink, purple, and blue with a clouds blending in with the light blue morning sky. I took several pictures and hopefully they will do it justice when I upload them. How amazing! It was as if the sky told me it was going to be a great day.
Now for politics and other stuff in the news.
San Francisco has decided to use Rank Choice Voting effective this year. Im not sure how I feel about it just yet. It makes me wonder what was wrong with the original way of doing things. For those who arent familiar with it, the way its set up is you vote for candidates by ranking them as "First Choice, Second Choice, and Third Choice". If First Choice doesnt get 50% of the vote, then the person with the lowest amount of votes gets tossed out and those people who voted for him/her gets to have their Second Choice vote entered in with the First Choice votes and the votes are recounted. Interesting I say but oye. If anyone has any other info on why this would be a good idea, please let me know. I would love to hear the defense.
The other thing I read about this morning was using Ecards to inform a partner of a health issue such as HIV. How disturbing and interesting at the same time. The caption said "hopefully you wont get one of these cards". It makes me wonder what the world is coming to when people are being encouraged to use the internet as an alternative to talking about serious health issues with a partner. To me its impersonal, and by far gives your partner an indication that there is no trust there to their understanding. I can relate to something like that being difficult to deal with. The questions of "How do I tell him?" but the fact remains, the right thing would be to sit down face to face and get it out. At least thats my thoughts.
So work went well. Not the greatest but not the worst. I really dont like the people I work with (have I mentioned that before?). Anyway, day by day right?
So this evening I went with a friend to get tested for HIV, unfortunately on Wednesdays they only do testing for Hepatitis and Syphillis. He got tested for those but still has to come back tomorrow for the HIV test. It was really flattering that he trusts me enough to ask me to go with him. To me that reflects a lot about who I am and it does feel good to be asked and trusted with something this big. Although Ive only known people here a short time, it feels like Im getting closer with them and slowly becoming friends. Hopefully they will last a long time.
I have also been looking into volunteering some time but havent decided where yet. I am thinking about the place he got tested today (www.magnetsf.org). They deal with health issues for gay men and it seems like it would be a good start. It would allow me to meet people as well as help people. Its just scary to commit the time and energy. Its mostly fear based holding me back but hopefully Ill gain the courage.
Well thats it for today. Hope everyone is well. Hugs and Kisses to all.
Posted by Des at 07:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 22, 2004
All about me!
I received one of those emails that I would normally just delete. You know, the "pass this on" emails. For some strange reason though I read it. Im not sure if it was because of the person who sent it or the interest or just a trick of fate. Needless to say it was about best friends and *girlfriends*.
It kind of opened my eyes to a concept that I knew deep down but think I may really need to evaluate. We share so many intimate moments with our partners however there are just *those* things we need our friends and only friends for. Its not so much that we *cant* or *don't want to* tell our partners but just those things you really need the people who will understand the most.
In the past, Ive often felt I wasn't important enough for a boyfriend to share these things with. Perhaps some of you can relate, some of you already know this, and some of you are learning it for the first time through my eyes. I would find out information that was shared with others and then wonder "why didn't you tell me?", I guess the answer was always predominant in my mind. The answer is quite simple. No matter how much we care about someone or know someone, there are just those things that we need other people for. Something I always knew in my own life and perspective but sometimes its hard to see that from the other side.
This is one of those issues I think I need to work on. Where does one start? How do I change something that is second nature? Ive identified the problem but fixing it seems like a losing battle.
On to work..... Currently I sit on the opposite side of the wall from the rest of my department (7 people total). Theres an open desk in which Im supposed to move into but waiting for the red tape to be cleared and the go ahead to be given. Currently Im by myself and feeling a bit out of the loop. Im thinking this may be part of my frustrations at work and hoping things will be a bit better once I can move into the department and become part of it. Right now I guess I still feel like such an outsider to everyone. Time will tell.
Ok spirits uplifted this evening. Camera? DiMage Z2 by Minolta (yes Ive changed again lol). I think its going to be the best choice. I was originally going to stop by Ritz Camera and just purchase it on my way home but my roommate mentioned Costco (which is like BJs or Sams Club for the east coast) and when I went to the web page, the camera was $50 cheaper, and I noticed I could get twice as much memory for about $20 more than the other one. Bottom line = camera + memory card (with an additional 256MB) $70 less than I would have spent with less memory. HOORAY for smart shopping.
Thats about it. Im heading to bed soon because Im in such a good mood that Id rather sleep happy for a change. Ok, so its not like Im always miserable going to bed. Just when I have to get up in the morning.
Peace and Love to all.
Posted by Des at 05:45 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 15, 2004
Childhood Memories and Stupid Camera Companies
So I’ve been thinking of something interesting to talk about in today’s journal entry and low and behold I get to work. This morning I had to take a mandatory training online about company ethics and conflicts of interest. It was quite interesting, learning about the gold mine in front of us. That was sarcasm in case you were wondering. It seems that the company has the mindset that it is like fort Knox and needs to protect its information from top to bottom and from everyone including a family member, a partner, or a spouse.
It was one of those trainings that you can’t help but to laugh through and ask yourself “Do I love my job as much as they are telling me I should?”.
Now on to the “memories” portion of our program. Have you ever had something spark a memory and not really sure why? Today I saw the eyewitness news team outside my office building. For some reason the words “Eyewitness” brought back memories to when I was little living in NYC. It makes me wonder if that’s a part of bigger cities that we tend to forget exists growing up and living in a smaller city. Its one of those things we can live without no matter what city we live in however it still stands out as something that’s different.
With that, it brought back memories of a man called Howie Bee’s. Bee’s mind you was not his real last name however it was a nickname because he made jewelry out of bee’s. The man was “the one our mothers warned us about”. My cousin Paul was more afraid of him than the boogieman himself and I mean that seriously. The reason he came to mind was that he was mentally unstable and would walk around with a microphone and have the wire going into an empty pocket. Now being the 70’s there was no such thing as wireless anything, and no tape recorder in his pocket told us (as did our parents) that he was a bit insane. He would walk around interviewing people for the eyewitness news which brings me to another memory of my sister, myself, and our childhood friend, making our own tape recordings of self created events and reporting to you live from a little 2 bedroom apartment on Knox Place in the Bronx. We were kids and that’s our excuse. I say that in order to disqualify any thoughts of relation to Howie Bee’s although people may say we were crazy. Some would still say that we are.
I remember his parents locking him out and refusing to open the door or talk to him. He would sit and cry in the hallway. I believe his parents ended up committing suicide by jumping off the roof but not too sure on the circumstance. This was about 27 years ago and through the eyes of an 8-year-old child which makes me wonder….
I wonder if the memories are distorted because time has passed, or if it was the time itself of being a kid. Why does it seem every memory I have of NYC and my childhood there, I recall as being 8 years old. I may have been 7 or 9 but I always seem to pick 8 as the guessing point. It couldn’t have been younger because how could any 6 year old have that kind of insight.
So this evening brings frustrations. The camera that we ordered, we are now seeing problems with the company we ordered from. I advise you strongly if you are looking online to buy a digital camera, do not order from A&M Photoworld. They want us to call because we are having it shipped to a different address than where the billing goes for the credit card. I can understand protecting the customers however if they tried to call a bank to verify a different address, the bank could not give that information to anyone but the account holder. It’s a silly request that serves them no purpose and delays my order. After reading more reviews on this company, I found that they are known for making customers contact them so they can try and “up sell” the product. I wouldn’t have a problem with telling them no thank you however you can't get a hold of anyone in the office. It’s been 4 days with no response or communication from them. I will most likely cancel the order and just go with a different (more reputable) company.
The highlight was talking with my friend Renee. God I miss people in Rochester. So we laughed and talked about old times, new times, and it was just nice to catch up. I can’t wait till I have a chance to go back and visit or have friends come visit me.
Well that’s about all she wrote…. Where did that phrase come from and who is “she”?…
Till next time….. same bat time, same bat channel..
Posted by Des at 08:36 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack