December 20, 2006
Who's In Charge?
So Im walking up 18th with Rick and we are talking as this guy stops in the middle of the two of us. I of course walk around because I dont pay attention to strangers who want my attention unless they are cute (who doesnt). As he stops in front of us, he yells out "Whos in charge?". I walk around but Ricks curiousity gets the best of him and he replies "Whos in charge of what?". The old man comes back and with a jazzy/vaudville tone replies "Whos in charge of Sex".
It didnt stop there. Rick and I go to Daddys for a drink. A guy walks in and looks directly at Rick and says "Tonights the night". I just looked at Rick and said "Dont do it!". He fought the urge and didnt ask.
To take things one step further, we are standing outside Cliffs. A guy walks past Rick, and pretty much looked so close at him that you would think he was checking out his nose hair. The guy said nothing and just kept walking.
Man Rick! Some days you have all the fun lol....
On another note, I went to dinner with Josh & Randy. It went well. Its funny but my horoscope said "dont look back, be sad, or have regrets" and I dont. It was a bit tough though hearing about how Josh has become the person I wanted him to be in our relationship. Things I said back then that I wanted, seemed to be things he was now realizing with Randy. Im not sure if I failed at communication or if it was all just a part of growing (although Id like to think I helped in the process of his growth), but all in all Im really happy that if he couldnt be *that* person with me, he can be *that* person with someone else.
I on the other hand am becoming more poly and taking on the role of the things he wanted me to be. Its funny how we shifted gears. I understand a lot of the things he wanted which I couldnt give at that time. Its funny how life works but he is happy, I am happy, and we are still very much friends. We always said we wanted each other to be happy and I really think we are both happy for each others happiness. *sigh*, its a comforting feeling knowing you can be with someone for 3 1/2 years, love them, let them go, and still be happy in your own life and for theres.
Finally I received a "elf yourself" from a friend and decided to do my own.
Enjoy
http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=7a817dfff4ecb0a3102fb84G06122006
Posted by Des at 07:27 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 28, 2006
CCOP
I just got back from training for CCOP (Castro Community On Patrol). It was supposed to be done at 9:30 but ran about 1/2 hour later. I volunteered to do my first patrol on Friday night.
For those who dont know about this group or what the purpose or goal is, its to keep our community, our streets, our neighbors, and our friends, safe or at least try and curb the flow of crime in our area.
There are 3 designated patrol areas in Castro and groups of 3 people will be walking around, watching, educating people, and distributing whistles to those areas. If you dont already have a whistle, we recommend buying one for a buck, keeping it with you at all times, and having it readily available not only for yourself, but also in case you see something that may need attention drawn to it.
The purpose of each individual in the group is unique. One one person will be responsible for calling in trouble. The second for taking notes not only about the incident, but also for the walk and what happened on the patrol. The third is responsible for blowing the whiste (short, quick, blows, and as frequently as possible) and also for using the flash light when necessary. All 3 will be responsible for getting a description, communicating, keeping an eye on each other, keeping an eye on the incident, and making sure everyone is safe. Only when we band together as a community, can we make a difference. I realize I really want to be one of those who makes a difference.
If you would like to volunteer, just send an email to CCOP
If you dont have the time to volunteer, its also good to help keep an eye out when you are on the street, take note of what is going on, what people are wearing if you see any trouble, and do something even if its just hiding and making a phone call. Every one of us can make a difference.
You can also help by donating, or having your company donate. They can donate money, buy more whistles to distribute to the community, and many other necessities that are still needed to keep this going. Just email the address above if you or anyone you know would like to help.
Thanks from me and thanks to all the people involved. I really appreciate the opportunity to help the Castro, my home.
Posted by Des at 10:22 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 08, 2005
How I View The World
I was chatting with a friend online this evening and I realized how different my view of the world is compared to so many people. I stand outside on the deck of my apartment and think about the lives going on around me. With a 180 degree view from Twin Peaks to the bay, I see so many people without actually seeing their faces or knowing anything about them.
When I look out into the distance, I see planes taking off and landing. Just a glimmer of light in the sky but I know there is life. There are people flying out of San Francisco and others flying into this great city of ours. I count, there are at least 8 planes in the sky at once with as few as 80 and as much as 350 people in each aircraft. Each glimmer of light reflects the life of so many people.
I look up at twin peaks and see life without faces. I see tourists and locals who are enjoying the view of the city below. People who have never before laid eyes on the beautiful skyline, the golden gate bridge at night and the ships in the bay. They are seeing the sites for the first time.
I look at Castro Theater and without seeing a face, I know there are people looking at the posters, taking pictures of the theater, and perhaps even waiting in a line for the next show. They are looking at the coming attractions.
Just across the street there are people drinking at Daddys and The Bar on Castro. People in Daddys dressed from leather to tshirt and jeans. Some probably feeling as if they dont belong and others who are feeling they have been there forever. The Bar on Castro is a bit different, a different crowd, and different vibes. People are smoking out front and others dancing in their narrow space in the back of the bar.
I look down at Dolores Park and know there are people there walking their dogs, perhaps finishing up the evening sunset, and people thinking about going home, going to dinner, and perhaps going home or dinner with someone they just met for the first time.
These are all people Ive never met, people I will most likely never meet, people who will live here for a while and move on, and people who are may become my friends down the road in some strange and unusual way.
All of this happening at the same time, in one moment, in one time, and knowing this goes beyond my horizon, I know there is life in other cities, towns, states, and countries. People sleeping, and people waking up. People arguing, people laughing. People living their lives the best way they can or the only way they know how.
All the people I know are doing their thing, which doesnt involve me or even anyone else I may know. With this, I think, when I do see them, its only for a moment, and Im lucky to have these people in my life. I am one of those people, now sitting in my apartment, typing in my journal and listening to the end of Charmed. We are only a spec of life in a huge world, in a huge universe, and I am grateful for the people around me and everything I have.
Im not sure who to thank for this, but I thank you.
Posted by Des at 05:38 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 01, 2005
Lack of Entry
So when was the last time Ive updated this thing? Im not really certain since the screen is now blank. I could go back and check but hey, Im here now.
So recent events taking place. Finally got a weekend to catch up the weekend before this past one. It felt like I actually caught up on most of the sleep I lost over the summer with all of the festivals and fairs. It was well needed however this past weekend was a bit over done.
Friday night I stayed in knowing I would most likely go out Saturday night. Saturday is the "gay" halloween in Castro and Monday is the BIG night which scares me. I got down there around 9pm and the Castro was hopping. Everyplace was packed and finally with so many fags celebrating from bad drag to lots of sailors, they closed off Castro Street.
With this, there was no drinking in the streets. After hanging out with my new friends Danny and Mike (whom I met the weekend before), they persuades me to drink canned beer from a paper bag. I was getting drunk enough where I didnt care.
After making the rounds in Castro, and finishing our ghetto beer, they also convinced me it was a good idea to go to Powerhouse. It was not. I was trashed and I hate being so far from home I need to take public transportation when Im drunk. Regardless, I crossed the line I always cross and needed to go at that exact moment. I cabbed it home spending money I didnt need to spend. I made it home safely.
Sunday, being the "glutton for punishment" type of guy I am, I went to beer bust. I started early so I went to the Lone Star first. Met a few cool people and played pool with some guy. I won which was weird to me but I think he was being nice in letting me win.
After a few beers there, I went to beer bust around 3:15. It was quit but I did get to see Kenji before he left. I always enjoy seeing him and he always puts a smile on my face.
To make the story a bit shorter (but not any more interesting) I got drunk. Some people showed up by this time. Steve and Jay along with some friends of Jays that were in town. Some people I knew and it was fun but the line was coming quickly again.
One thing that did happen that struck me as odd, is a guy whom I thought snubbed me all the time. Its funny how you get certain impressions about people without even knowing them. We tend to make judgements based on appearance, facial expressions, lack of words (or in some cases drunken words which arent thought out completely). As we were in the bathroom, he said to me "we (being his friends) we're saying you have such a cute face".
Now being drunk, and always having a feeling that the guy didnt like me for some weird, self concious reason, all I could reply was "I thought you didnt like me". After thinking about it, this didnt seem like the best response to someone who just paid me a compliment. If reversed I probably would have came back like he did with a solid "I dont even know you, why wouldnt I like you?". Either way, the proper response should have been "thank you, Im Desmond". Next time lol.
So drunk and stupid, we went to the Lone Star. This is where I black out a bit. I dont believe we had a drink there but its possible. I remember bits of walking down the street with Steve to Muni. He was soooo my saviour that afternoon.
I dont remember the train ride at all but I do remember getting off at Church because we got on the J, and apparently it was because I didnt want to wait for the correct train. I only learned that the next day.
I parted with Steve at Church. He walked up to Castro and I caught a cab home. Its only about a mile home but I didnt want to stumble down Market Street looking like the fool.
Halloween, Oct 31st, Castro Street, 200-300 THOUSAND people. Straight, Ghetto, from east bay and beyond. It was a mad house. I stayed home.
On to work. Its been great. I started new hours this week working 5:30am - 2pm. Im loving it. Im up early anyway and love getting done early in the afternoon. Ive been wanting a shift like this for a while now and finally got it. They are also paying this shift an extra $100 per pay check to work it. Heck, they could have saved the money cause I would have done it for the same rate. Bonus for me though.
Tonight Josh and I are heading for a reading or a play or something. I forget what its about but seems like a nice thing to do. I guess we are meeting his friend Barry and it will be nice to finally spend a bit of time with Barry since Ive been really afraid of it.
See I like Barry a lot (not in that way) but for the fact he is just one of those great guys who on a rare occassion comes into ones life. Josh is lucky to have someone like him as a friend and I guess part is afraid of getting close. Several reasons this happens. 1) he is Josh's friend and I dont want to invade that space. We all need our own friends and Barry has been a great friend to Josh. The other reason is that I always question everything. "why did he do that" or better yet "why would he do that nice thing he did". Its not that I think there is something he wants in return but just the opposite. I dont like accepting gifts that are whole hearted and given without reason. I always feel guilty in taking this mainly because I feel less of myself. I feel like I now owe something and know I dont have anything to give in return. This one tends to hold me back from a lot of close friendships and I know it holds me back in my relationship. Its nice to see but changing who I am is rather difficult. All I can do is try.
So thats about all thats happening on my end. So much for short updates. I would promise to write more frequently but Im afraid I know how bad I slack. Till next time, if you are still reading, hugs.
Posted by Des at 05:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
In The Family
So last night we went to a reading of a play. At first I was thinking "how good can it be?" since it was a reading, no major props, scripts in hand, and actors without the time to rehearse. I was wrong.
The story about a preachers son, who is now in line to become a preacher himself, is faced with issues, after realizing two things. His now dead great great grandfather, who founded the church, and was his dads icon, was now gay. He discovers after he and his sister go into the attack (which is off limits), to raid an old locked box of their ancestor. While his sister is gone, the son finds a diary written by his great great grandfather.
The son is now also faced with the fact that he too is gay and now has to decide if he wants to walk down the same path, become a minister, and hide the truth about his great great grandfather as well as himself.
I really enjoyed it for the most part but the one thing it did seem to be lacking was history for the dead decendent. I was a bit confused too at the beginning (perhaps still am) as to the relationship between the family. For some weird reason I thought at the beginning that perhaps they were step siblings but after a while, that thought just died and was forgotten.
Anyway, it was a great show overall and I really hope it does well. If you ever get a chance to see it, please do. The play is by Brian J. Tognotti and he did a fantastic job.
Posted by Des at 03:57 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 11, 2005
I got this from a friends blog
How appropriate I guess:
Made by the fine folks at daylighttwilight.com
Posted by Des at 05:45 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 27, 2005
Those that wanted the link... here ya go
Here is the link to the Folsom Street Fair and Love Parade pictures. Most have already received the link already but for those who didnt, here you are.
Posted by Des at 04:22 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 13, 2005
Drop Dead Gorgious!
There are certain people, who you can just look at and say "I could never date them because my own self esteem would be in the toilet".
There was a guy on Muni this morning who was drop dead gorgeous.....
Posted by Des at 04:27 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 31, 2005
Exposing Time
I started playing with the time exposure feature of my camera. God, I cant believe I have had it for nearly a year now and Im still learning all these features. From super macro to time exposures, Im really enjoying my decision to buy it. Of course Id still love a DSLR. *smile*
Here are my first few time exposure shots. Nothing great but I wanted to share. They were all taken last night when I thought it was the darkest.
If anyone has some suggestions or helpful hints I would definitely appreciate it. Also some knowledge on what can be done with this would also be great.
Posted by Des at 08:50 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 26, 2005
Lets talk about sex baby
First Id like to take a moment and cover yesterday morning. To set the scene, it 5:45am and the sun hasnt fully risen. I leave the apartment for work, with sleep in my eyes and a dim view of what the world looks like.
I walk about 50 feet to the 116 steps I must go down to get to the street below. Im on my way to the subway to catch the train.
As Im heading down *the* steps, I see the silhouette of two homeless people. Im used to seeing homeless people after all it is San Francisco.
What I hadnt expected to see, and was quite shocked to find was the two people I would have to pass were engaged in an adult act called sex.
I guess I never thought about it before but homeless people have needs too and neither would have a place to get it on, so low and behold they were fucking in public on the steps I must go down to get to work.
With that said a much cleaner experience. Spare the air is something San Francisco does to encourage people to take public transportation as opposed to driving. Between certain hours of the morning you can ride the train (and apparently the bus) for free.
Now I can understand the train but uncertain of the bus. The bus runs on gas as well as electricty correct? With that said it really isnt sparing much of the air now is it?
Finally my sister arrives tonight. Im so excited. I cant wait.
Posted by Des at 05:36 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
June 28, 2005
Pictures of Pride 2005
Finally got the pictures of pride uploaded.
Updated my journal page a bit. Hope everyone likes it. Im not that talented when it comes to html but thanks to Josh, I can get by a little.
I also I just added some links to other blogs I read by friends. ------>
Feel free to check them out
Posted by Des at 06:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
June 14, 2005
Moving On Up
Well I accepted the position for the new job and start tomorrow. Hooray!!!! Im excited.
There were just too many pro's for me to say no based on money although more money is always nice. I dont think Ive ever seen a company where that was *the* only con, so I had to take the chance.
Im excited to start and go in to finalize the papers this morning.
Not a lot going on this week and the weekend was pretty much "the usual". Met a few new people at beer bust (as usual) and hopefully new friends to hang out with.
I finally got over to the new apartment to take some photos. There are a couple of huge spiders that really need to move out before we can move in but at least the pictures are done.
Josh seems to be getting more and more clients which is nice. Some are free so theres not a lot of intake but that is the way its done. Lots of free body work for referrals. Help those who help us, right???
So Im off for the day. This weekend coming up is Margaret Cho!!!! and next weekend pride. Expect more pictures :)
Posted by Des at 06:37 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
June 07, 2005
Ive danced the dance
Since Friday, Ive put on the pink tutu and performed the tricks necessary to get me the job. Ive jumped through the hoops provided.
Today was the last of the interviews and although Im relieved to be done with them all, I still have to wait and see what happens. I think they all went well and hopefully got the job but I wont know until they call and say those magic words "You got the job".
One thing that will be good if I do get the job I want, is that I do have a great understanding of the business and think I would fit right in as a valuable asset to the company. I have learned a great deal talking with everyone and I cant help but to think they must be interested in me to invest so much time interviewing. Keep your fingers crossed.
As for SF lately, its become tourist season. Gay men throughout Castro with flashing cameras at the strangest of things. Of course the big gay flag is always a huge attraction.
This is going to be a busy month with moving, new job (hopefully), Margaret Cho, Pride, and some other possibilities that may be happening. Sacramento Pride and San Jose Pride are both this weekend as well. Then 4th of July, Jason's visit, other events, and my sisters visit for Dore Alley Fair.
Aside from all that going on, not too much is new here. Josh finally got his business cards and a few flyers made which I have to say I really like. Im hoping the flyers and the business cards will help with finding clients. He is also making up discount coupons for first time customers which is a great idea.
Thats about all for now.
Posted by Des at 06:09 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 24, 2005
Quick Update.... Job search
Just a quick update for those who still read this thing. I had 2 interviews yesterday and one last Thursday. I got call backs for both the interviews yesterday and havent heard anything on the job I interviewed for last week however I did send a thank you card which Im hoping they will get tomorrow. Its worked in the past for some people.
Now, the 2 interviews I got called back for, one pays a little more but is a 45 minute bus commute. The other pays a little less and is 10 minutes walking distance from home and in Castro. Both are management positions and equally beneficial. Id like to take the one thats 45 minutes from here but am tempted to take the one closer to home. Ok, so Im talking about it as if I already have the jobs lol.
As for other stuff, the apartment is still in process. Josh is still looking for a job but also in the process of starting up a private practice 2 days a week to have some kind of income. I can tell how hard it is for him and honestly not quite sure what I can do to help. Perhaps just being here is enough but I always have the feeling that I should be doing more. Anyway, I have a lot of faith everything will work out for the best one way or another.
So this evening I went out to meet up with Ben & Steve whom I havent seen in a while. They have a friend of theirs in from NYC who happens to know a lot of the same people I do (for those who know me, you know the scene Im into). It was a nice evening. We had a couple of drinks at Moby Dicks and then ate at Nirvana.
I know I said I didnt want to eat there again but didnt want to make those guys choose someplace else either so I went back. The service was good and the food was good. Its always hit or miss there and when they miss, they really miss.
So thats about all for now. Tomorrow is another free day. I have to call and schedule my second interview for Thursday and on Thursday Ill have both of them. Hopefully by the end of the week something good will happen and life will be on its way back to normal.
*sigh*
Posted by Des at 10:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 10, 2005
Happy Birthday to Josh
So the past few days havent been too exciting to write about. Sunday I was in a miserable mood. I was frustrated because of all the stuff I need to put back together in my life. As most of you know, Ive been pretty out of control since Ive been out of work and Im now thinking I need to organize things a bit.
I am pretty certain I wont be heading back to school as originally planned. Im thinking about working and making money so that all that Ive saved can be used for better things.
Several things have been tormenting me lately in a "How do I do it?" sort of way. This is the primary factor to my recklessness. I know why, now how do I change it? Those are the answers I need to figure out.
To start with we want a new apartment. I need a job for that as well as money.
I want a new career photography and dont want to go back into health insurance. This much I know.
So how do I get a) and b)?
School isnt an answer right now because I cant get either with it. Perhaps the job in photography but from what Ive heard from a few people in the design industry, it doesnt seem to be a major asset.
Where are my skills? How do I meet the people who can answer my questions? How can I network and find the people who will give me a chance? What career allows me to make money, while networking? The answer is bartending.
Im thinking now its the best way to meet people and you never know who you will meet. Its something Im good at, something that has always proved to pay well, something that has always allowed me to meet people, and something I enjoy for the most part. It also puts me back in the social scene which I think Im ready for.
So thats my decision but Josh seems to have some concern. We havent talked about it except in brief conversation but enough to know he doesnt like the idea. If he is dead set against it and can give me other options besides living off him when he finds a job, perhaps Ill take that route but for now it seems like a good answer to me.
So as for Josh, he went yesterday to get his background check done. Man, they treat massage therapists like criminals here. I guess too many people do it for sex (aka prostituation in a sense since they are getting paid), but for those who are serious about helping people (in a different way), it seems to be a lot of burreaucracy.
FBI, CIA, finger printing, everyone wants to know everything. At least its done and now he will take the test on Friday and once he passes that, he will be licensed to practice. He has been persuing a higher end spa in union square which I hope he gets, otherwise Im pretty confident he can find a job most anywhere. Have I mentioned how proud I am of him? :)
Today is his birthday. I gave him his present early on Saturday which was the Margaret Cho tickets. Today I feel as if I havent given him anything. I plan on going for a walk around 10am and getting him the venus fly trap I promised him for graduation but never got for him (I bought him a japanese tea pot which cost more than any tea pot should). I also plan on taking him out to dinner some place so with everything it will hopefully amount to something special. Oh yeah, I bought the CB3000 as a gift as well but still havent determined if it was for graduation or birthday. And is it really a gift if I get to use it too?
Anyway, today should be fun. Not much planned for me except sending out a few resumes, updating my retail resume as well as photography, and perhaps going down to all the bars on Castro and handing them my bartending resume. I did see a post on craigslist for health insurance based here in SF with extensive travel to Pakistan. Hmmmmm sounds quite interesting lol (or not).
Oh yeah, last but not least. Jury duty! Ive been selected and postponed it when I found out it was just before Josh's graduation. I called Friday to see if I had to report. Postponed till Monday, please call back. I call Monday? Postponed, please call back Tuesday. Ugh!!! So I have to call back tonight and see if I have to report. I hope not but you never know what will happen. Man is that going to throw a wrench into my plans if I do.
Wish me luck
Posted by Des at 07:53 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 15, 2005
Downs & Ups
So Ive been feeling a bit low lately and worried about finances. With everything Ive purchased lately & figuring my bare minimum budget, Im finding I didnt leave room for small things.
With that said Ive been slipping into my old mind set of just saying fuck it & spending what I want to spend. Its the old mind set of if I cant win, may as well go for broke.
I guess a lot of it has to do with losing my job in 2 1/2 weeks. As confident as I am, Im still a bit worried about survival. Will it work out like I want, or will I fail? Guess only time will tell but it doesnt take away the fear.
Ive also been missing Josh more lately than ever. This is the second time since he started that we've had to go more than 3 weeks witgout seeing each other. I miss being together and going for walks and stuff like that. Just exploring together.
On another note, the new computer. Well things are going well and Im really liking it, however I learned a valuable lesson (hooray my first lesson). The lesson was that when using a wireless mouse, you really need to keep the batteries charged (ie; putting the mouse in the docking station). Last night the mouse went dead and I couldn’t close or use any of the programs. I ended up using my laptop *chuckle* which kind of defeated the purpose of having a new computer.
With all that, I finally got most of the programs I need installed. Finally got my palm programmed to send and receive emails. Yay, Im completely mobile now. I also had to figure out how to import my address book from the palm to the address book on the mac. After about 2 hours playing, I finally got it imported. I exported it from the palm, to the palm desktop, and then finally realized that I had to export it to my desktop as a vcard file (who knows what that is lol). I then imported the vcard file to my email. One problem. The addresses that were imported, listed email addresses as the phone numbers. So I had to go in and fine tune things but cutting and pasting to the correct fields. Only took about 10 minutes so it wasn’t a big deal. At least its done with now and I can proceed as normal.
Things left to do. 1) set up voice recognition on my palm/cell so I can dictate emails. 2) I still need Josh to bring me software (photoshop & Word/Excel for Mac). 3) figure out how to use my ftp program. And 4) upload more pics of friend to my palm so I can attach pictures to their phone numbers and ifo. Its kind of a cool feature to have the persons picture pop up when they call. :-)
Other news, nothing really new with work. Just biding my time. 2 1/2 weeks left. YAY!
Posted by Des at 04:55 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 08, 2005
phone issues
So the day was good. Tomorrow is the first day of out placement training. I was a bit confused on what it was. As it turns out, they teach you those skills for finding a new job such as resume building, and interviewing. Perhaps I got it right but not sure if I posted it lol.
This evening I spent several hours trying to get my VersaMail working for my email on my palm. Still no luck. I keep getting an error now when syncing, that says "Time Out Reading Mail". Not sure what that is but its an improvement. Originally it was going through the motions and ending up with nothing downloaded. This time it at least found the folders on the server to sync and started to at least download something. When it got to the end and went to close, thats when the error message comes up. Of course without downloading anything lol.
So, onward we go in hopes of getting it right someday lol.
On a better note, my computer shipped tonight. Should take about 5 days standard so Im predicting next Tuesday at the latest. Im soooo excited.
Thats pretty much it for today. Nothing special. Works tolorable, and Ive only got 3 weeks, 3 days left. YAY!!!!
Posted by Des at 08:49 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 15, 2005
Starting off Stressed and Confused
Ok, so Im up early this morning and doing my normal routine. Josh got to sleep at 4:30am and Im already becoming a bit concerned that he wont make it up in time to meet me and go with me to the doctors.
Im a bit scared and would be more comfortable having someone there with me. So with that Im worried he will sleep through the alarm or will end up being late.
around 6:15am, St3ve wakes up and asks if I think Josh would mind taking him to the hospital. Part of me is thinking "this is going to ruin things" and the other part thinks "This is serious for him and he needs someone to take him". So I wake Josh up after an hour and a half sleep and he is off to take St3ve to the hospital.
Now Im really worried about Josh being able to be with me. I mean, by the time he gets back here, he is going to be exhausted, and now he will have even more of a chance of being late or even missing it all together. Another part of me says "he is really going to need his sleep and I should let him have it" but truth is Ive mentioned before that I really need him there and Im worried about going alone.
So Im a bit confused as to what I should do. I mean, its not St3ves fault because he got sick. Josh didnt plan on having 1 1/2 hours sleep (although I asked him last night to come to sleep at a reasonable time in order to prevent oversleeping).
With that, and being I was leaving work early anyway, I decided just to call in. I figured I would be here and if Josh needed to lay down, I would at least be able to get him up when I have to go. Im not sure calling in was the right thing though.
My delima is being they are laying us off as of April 1st, I dont want to give the impression that I am slacking because of it. I truly am not. Im also concerned about "how it looks". Its Tuesday after I had a four day weekend. I havent had any warnings about calling in but still worry about getting let go earlier that April 1st and loosing the severance. Im sure they have to follow protocal for it but still I worry.
Given that and the past reactions Ive had from my boss, I have been disappointed in reactions to issues. When I was sick with red palms, rash all over, palms peeling, there wasnt even "are you feeling any better" from her. When my grandfather passed away, I emailed them and they didnt bother to read it. When I finally had to confront them with the news face to face, I didnt even get an "Im sorry to hear it" from her. Im wondering now how this will play out and Im torn as to if calling in was the right thing or not. I guess Ill find out soon enough.
So Josh got home after a couple of hours. It was a good thing I stayed home today as he didnt have his key with him. He would have either had to go back to the hospital, wait, and come back with St3ve who got home around 11:30 and still had no sleep, or gone to sleep in his car. Anyway, Im glad I was here.
He slept for 4 hours, woke up, and went with me to the doctors. Im kind of disappointed because the doctor said she recommened keeping the cyst. Apparently theres two ways to remove it. 1) make a small hole and suck it out which wouldnt get the whole thing. This leaves some of it in there and there was 100% chance it would come back. The other would be to make a slice in my head about 3 inches and cut out about a half inch around it, which would leave about a 3 inch scar. Neither one seem like a good option, thats why she said since its on my head and in my hair, she would just leave it. She said it isnt bothering anything so it would be fine.
So now that all raises the question as to what do I name it? Hmmmmm any suggestions?
St3ve is ok. Not too sure what the doctor said but he did prescribe medicine which is always good. I havent really talked to him all that much since I napped when I first came home and just now woke up.
Glad the day is almost over. Till tomorrow.
Posted by Des at 07:59 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 08, 2005
Our Anniversary / Valentines Planning
First off today is the 2 year anniversary of the day Josh and I got together. Hooray!!! 2 years. Can you believe it?
For those who've known me a while, and since I came out, Ive gone through MANY dates (ok sex, flings, etc... but always looking for the right one). As some people would call it "rolls of toilet paper". Thats a story in its own.
Anyway, I can hardly believe its been 2 years. Its my second relationship thats lasted at least this long, and its been far too long in between. Its nice to know that we are still happy with each other, still love each other very much, and still have plans for the future together. Never know what to expect, but its definitely a good thing and Im looking forward to many more years together.
Now speaking of my boyfriend (who is very wise mind you), he has informed me that I have been stressing over finances way too much lately. Im the type of person who lives paycheck to paycheck, my credit sucks (therefore no soup for me), and I am constantly budgeting to make sure I have enough to last me through out the month.
Lately Ive grown very tired and impatient on what I have wanted months ago but couldnt afford. Theres so much I need to buy to make up for what I lost when I moved (mind you I didnt have much but things were still mine). Now that I have a refund coming from the government, I really want ALL those things Ive been hoping for and although I can afford all of them within a months time, I still want them now. I dont want to wait any longer. So Ive been stressing.
I need to stop that and live life and do what I can, when I can. I should be happy to do half the stuff I want to within the next few weeks and then shortly after, be happy I can do them in a months time. Im going to try and live by those rules and try and relax more.
So on that note, last night I did my calculating of finances, and realized what can be done soon, and what would have to wait a month. I figured everything out and I will have plenty to get me through the months. We will do Monterey this weekend, I can buy my computer, and then depending if we can get discounts on those phones we wanted, I will either get them this month and put the futon off till next month, or visa versa if we cant get the discount. Either way its managable.
The other plans we were looking for seemed within the budget as well. Valentines Day dinner at The Stinking Rose, and the The Tea Orgy at Samovar . Well I wake up this morning to find that The Stinking Rose is booked Valentines Day and the flyer we got from Samovar says $23 a ticket and their website says $29.10.
Blah, reworking the plan. We cant go to dinner the day before because we will be rushing back from Monterey and the day after is a maybe because I will be having my cyst removed that afternoon. Hopefully it will all work out and I know I need to take a breath and let it play out the way it will but cant help but to stress a bit over the plans going bad.
We will see as the day goes on.
Posted by Des at 06:06 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 01, 2005
Blessing?
So where to begin?
First off my new friend from Bart wasnt on the train this morning. Ive started looking forward to our morning encounters. Perhaps I scared him away *chuckle*. I seem to have that effect on people. Anyway, I enjoyed talking with him on Friday and Monday and would still like to continue.
I did manage to make the appointment to have my cyst (aka "tuma") remmoved. This will happen on February 15th. Im a bit nervous but it will be a relief to have that "thing" removed. Perhaps now I can shave my head once more lol. Who knows.
So down to business. Today we had a department meeting with "special guests". One being our directors boss and another woman who Im not sure of her position. To cut to the chase, they are eliminating our department in northern CA and moving our work to southern CA. What this means is effective April 1st, I will be out of a job. No, its not an April Fools joke early.
My first reaction was that this is a blessing since Ive been wanting to look for a new job anyway. Im keeping a positive outlook on things and already making plans to move forward. They will be giving a severence of 6 weeks effective April 1st, and I will also be eligible for unemployment. The unemployment would be roughly $100 less per week than Im making now, which wouldnt be too much of a loss. If I take that route (and I need to research it more), I may also be eligible for some kind of training while Im collecting unemployment. I still have to figure out if I would rather do that or persue another job prior.
So things I need to research are a) How my 401K works, since Ive only been there roughly 5 month (not including the time as a temp), my bought vacation time, what Im actually entitled to for unemployment, and I still need to go over the fine print of the termination contract.
That brings me to another issue. The termination contract Im not so sure is a standard contract because Ive never been laid off from a job before. In it, several things stand out at a glance and the major one would be if I do not accept a suitable job or interview for it, I would lose my severance pay. Im not so sure Im comfortable with that wording. I mean, what is considered suitable? Something of equal pay vs. benefits? Does it mean anything that comes along? I need clarification on that one.
As for my evening, my W2 from Blue Cross Blue Shield has still yet to come in the mail. I know they have my correct address because I gave them the information before I moved so they could forward my last paycheck. Ill give it one more day before I begin a series of phone calls to have another one issued, faxes (if they can do that), or somehow get what I need to file my taxes.
So thats been my day. Job search? Unemployment? Training? hmmmm... any words of wisdome out there?
Posted by Des at 08:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 11, 2005
Sick Toothpaste but not sick toothpaste
So yesterday morning I ran out of toothpaste. I figured I would just use the one Josh left here over the weekend for a few days and get by until pay day. Ive realized one thing for me when it comes to toothpaste. I cant spit out toothpaste that isnt white. It doesnt matter to me if it is 100% natural, I just cant do it. All toothpaste should be white. Doctor Burts is just not for me. Sad :-(
So today I called in sick again which you probably know. I called and cancelled the interview for this afternoon. Tomorrows the one I really want to keep. I decided I definitely need another job. I get the feeling management wasnt too happy with me calling in because I got the brush off when I called my boss this afternoon. Guess I cant blame her, but I would have also thought she would have been a little sympathetic to my condition. Oh well, Im just gonna look for something different.
As for today, I did have my own glorious experience getting the best of it. Work sent me a check on my flexible spending account for a claim in which I believe I was already paid. Now Im really not sure how to handle it but I really think since they screwed up and since I didnt use all my flexible spending money, I should get to keep it. Especially since Ive had asperin and contact lens solution and cold medicine which I never claimed. hmmmm tough decision. I wonder what the effects would be if I kept it.
So as for the rest of the day, I went and bought toothpaste, grabbed food at Slyders, and now relaxing. Chatting online for a bit and meeting a few new people. Soon it will be Angel, Charmed, and Smallville time. God I love the evenings....
Posted by Des at 04:39 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 30, 2004
What kind of day will it be?
I woke up this morning, thinking to myself, "another day of work and so many left. This is such a long life, day after day after day. How many days are left in my life. Is living each day worth it?". They say life is short but I question that. Im thinking this morning its too long. Oh well, guess Ill just grin and bare it.
Posted by Des at 05:05 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 16, 2004
This, That, and the Other Thing
Ive been thinking about my grandfather more and more. I really wish now that I had taken the time out to get to know him better. It seems as we get older, we don’t always find the time or make the effort to get to know our parents or grandparents for who they are as a person. With this, I really envy Josh for getting to know his grandfather before he passed. It also makes me think about family. Who are they? I'm not sure I truly know. I would love to say Ill try and get to know my family better and perhaps become closer but unfortunately I don’t believe it will happen. Time will pass and it will be right back to the same ole mind sets that started me down the path I've chosen.
I think of my dad often. I wish there was more effort on both sides to understand each other. When I was younger, it seemed that we had a much closer relationship or at least closer than I did with most everyone else in my family. What happened? What changed? How did it change?
I remember being a kid and for my birthday one year, Mom and Dad bought me a go cart. I'm not sure why this memory came about, but I remember it didn’t cost them much money and it really made me happy. There were so many gifts they gave me and now I'm not sure all of them were completely appreciated. No gift means more to me than the love they gave and the childhood that will always be remembered as a wonderful time. I hope they know I love them dearly.
This also brings me to a thought I had this morning. We were talking about Christmas at work and when we were kids. I always remember my sister Michele being the one who always wanted to peek. I was the good one and finally I figured out why. Fear! I was afraid that if I peeked and got caught, I wouldnt get any presents at all. Im not sure why this even matters but for some reason the realization came to me today. Funny how these memories come to us isnt it?
So for work, I did manage to talk to my boss(s) whom I sent the email to yesterday. I only put "change in vacation" in the subject so they over looked it or figured it wasnt important. Although I could see why they wouldnt read it for its importance, it still doesnt justify their neglect in reading their emails. This is something they are forever telling other employees to do. Guess it goes to show you that whats good for the employees isnt always good for the boss and visa versa.
So to sum it up, I changed my vacation to bereavement and that will give me 3 more vacation days to use up. Guess something good came out of this after all. Still sucks to have something this way but I wont look a gift horse in the mouth. Besides, I can now see family I wouldnt have normally seen on my visit, even if its for a short time.
On to other things of no interest. I learned today that black peoples hair do not dry as quickly as white people (god I hate color labels). I had to laugh because Virginia (one of the women I work with) told us she was leaving early to wash her hair. This struck me as odd so I questioned it lol. She played with me a bit by telling me its in the genetics and that she could wash her hair and it would still be wet by bedtime. I still couldnt understand it. Finally after Carla (another black woman who works there) saw my confusion (and was laughing too), gave in and told me why. LOL, guess I need to hang with them more often because I learn something new about race.
So in case you arent bored by now, so much to do tomorrow to get ready for the trip. Im leaving work early to do laundry (fags are always doing laundry), and gotta get things set. What a busy day tomorrow but well worth it.
Hooray, Ill be leaving for Rochester in 24 hours.
Posted by Des at 05:57 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 02, 2004
Prescriptions OMG
Woke up, got ready for work and off to see my next door neighbors so I could vote. How convenient is that. My polling place just happened to be in the garage next door. I leave for work aroun 6:50am and I walked right in. They said "the polls dont officially open till 7am but you can start filling out your ballot now". I was done by 7:05 and still had time to catch my normal train. Good Good day so far.
Well all good things come to an end. Today was my first trip to the pharmacy and the first time using my prescription benefit. All I can say is OMG. Im not sure wheather to be pissed at the doctor for prescribing the newest antibiotic or the pharmacutical company for their outrageous prices. 2 prescriptions, top tier, copay was $70. Anyway, apparently there was no generic forms for these. The antibiotic is called Zythromax and is only 6 pills. You take 2 the first day together, and then 1 each additional day for the next 4. Can I say, it is kicking my ass. Thank god I dont opporate heavy machinery.
The second one is called clarinex which I believe is an allergy medication. This was for the rash or any allergies that I may have come into contact being in such an unusual climate with such unusual substances. small little pills that dont do much of anything or perhaps they do and I just havent realized it over the other stuff.
So thats about it for my sickness. Good news today, I got my requested time off which means I have this Monday and Tuesday coming up off and I will get a little more time with Josh since he is on break. Ill get to leave early on the 17th and have off till the 23rd. That was good news. Getting home wasnt from work today, on the other hand wasnt. lol
I had called the guy about the furnace this morning and told the owner that no one showed up last night. He said he would have someone here between 5 and 5:30. Once bitten, twice shy, I said ok. Well at 5:45 the guy shows up. He relit the pilot light and discovered the thermostat was shot. Well you would imagine someone who is experienced with heating and furnaces would stock a thermostat in their truck. Not this moron, oh no... He doesnt have one and its now too late to go and get one. So I get two options for tonight.
No heat or heat by jimmy rig. The jimmy rig option (which I chose), consists of two wires hanging out of my wall which when connected turn the furnace on. When disconnected turn the furnace off. Pretty simple but in my opinion highly dangerous. Needless to say, Im not sleeping with the wires connected so Im taking as much heat as I can get tonight and Ill let St3ve unhook them before he goes to bed. He stays up pretty late.
So thats my day. Feeling a bit better but with everything happening the past week, I guess it could be considered a good day. Who knows lol. On to tomorrow.
Posted by Des at 07:24 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 26, 2004
Bad Morning/ Better Day
So most people hate Monday, I'm beginning to hate Tuesdays. At least today. I woke up this morning after a horrible dream. You know those dreams to where someone very close and dear has died. It was very disturbing and I hate when they happen. I wish I could remember more to the dream but there is also relief in knowing that everything's fine and that it *was* just a dream.
So the heat isn't working in the apartment. For most, they probably think "Its California, who needs heat" but the truth is, it was 50 degrees when I woke up this morning and that definitely requires the heater to work and it didn’t. So I'm not really sure who to call to get this fixed. I don’t know how to get a hold of the landlord since St3ve is the one who is usually in contact with her when needed and he is having fun with *that mouse* at Disney World. So tonight I will try and get a hold of the downstairs neighbor who I believe should be able to help me on this.
So to add insult to injury, not only was I cold, in shock from the dream, but I forgot to get coffee for home. Yesterday I brought in the coffee from home because I have a coffee press on my desk at work. I figured, Ill just stop by on the way home and get coffee. I needed to stop next door to the Castro Cheesery (where I get coffee) to get cigarettes and muni tokens at the smoke shop. Simple enough you would think. Well needless to say, I got distracted by pretty faces as usual while going into the smoke shop, that I completely forgot I needed coffee. So this morning has just not been my morning.
With all of this in mind, I left early thinking I would get to work, make coffee, and put my misery to an end. I was early, the train was late. Ugh!!!! Something just doesn’t want me to be happy today. I did manage to reserve two nights at the Days Inn in Rochester for my trip which will be nice. I am hoping to stay Saturday night at a friends house and then Sunday will be a relaxing night with friends, and I will get some Jeffy Pantz time in the SareFinney Suite. Thank god its been a year and a half since that mishap and the room has been decontaminated. I still think about it and feel so sorry for poor Jeffy. I wonder if she's been found yet? Last I read on the plastic turtle she has been gone 6 months, has had 2 known residences, and is now missing in action.
So that’s my morning. Stay tuned for my afternoon and evening.
__________________
So the day went well. Not alot of drama and pretty much smooth. The one girl that has been really nice to me at work, told me she is looking for another job. Thats kind of disappointing since she was the one who encouraged me to stay. I honestly cant blame her though. The politics are worse there than the current elections and there is alot of attitude. Funny thing about people with attitudes is that they dont really know they have them. That just made me laugh...
Home, still no heat, I tried resetting the pilot, and playing with it but still nothing. I guess it could be worse and I could be somewhere other than San Francisco, but still its cold. I made sure I stopped and got coffee because god forbid I go two mornings without it. Im currently enjoying my solitude and anxiously waiting for the weekend. I hope it doesnt become a major disappointment, going out on Halloween by myself.
Now Im watching I Know What You Did Last Summer and I never knew "Buffy" was in it. hmmmm.... Interesting.
After this, Im off to bed. Wishing everyone a great night and thanks for reading. Hugs....
Posted by Des at 08:47 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 19, 2004
RAIN!
Ok, so the rain here is much worse than I originally thought. This morning, I woke up after a horrible night sleep, only to go out in the down pour of rain with no umbrella.
Im not sure how to describe the rain but it seemed thicker, more like a late April shower in Rochester. The winds however seemed stronger, more powerful, than I remember it being on the east coast. From what Im told, this is the beginning but also the worst. The sun finally came out around 3pm and so far, it hasnt rained again.
Im not sure if anyone read the Dilbert cartoon from this mornings paper but it kind of stood out as something most people go through, including myself at times. Heres the best way to describe it....
Dilbert talking to the dog....
"Ive noticed that all of my problems are caused by other people yet it seems unlikely that other people would cause me so much discomfort while I never bother anyone"
"Is it possible that Im oblivious to my effect on others".
Dog sleeps
Ok so I guess it was one of those things you had to see for yourself. Another interesting quote was from my horoscope.
"Its hard to be a moral compass if you cant tell north from south"....
These words kind of made me think about a few things. Anyway, I just figured I would share and if anyone gets anything from it, Ive done a good deed by spreading the word.
As for this evening, not really much going on. I never got my nap in so Im planning on an early night. Till tomorrow.
Peace
Posted by Des at 07:15 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 12, 2004
Heat!
*** Disclaimer (apparently I needed it)*****
I just wanted everyone to know this entry is not cutting down Rocheseter (a place with many friends and great places which I miss), nor does it cut down my childhood home town and the country lifestyl. Sometimes its hard to keep up and write about stuff thats interesting. Im going through many changes out here, some good, and some bad. The weather is always an easy choice.
It seems people want to point out the good things Im going through which makes them feel bad however I dont seem to hear much on the bad things making people feel good. You would think it would balance out. Anyway, these entries are my changes, my life, and the world through my eyes today. Please dont feel offended by anything that is said.
******************************************************************
Well I guess I wouldnt be doing justice to being in San Francisco if I didnt talk about the weather. I wont bore you with the details (it was 90 today), but rather the feelings I have.
Its an odd feeling to be here in mid October and think "wow, its mid October and it doesnt feel like it should". I think about what I would normally be thinking and feeling about this time of year and although Im happy to be here, I cant help but feel like a certain part of me is not.
Normally this time of year, I would be dreading the long winter ahead of me, thinking with the crisp air that Halloween is just a few weeks away, no more smell of fresh cut lawns, the air becomes stale as I would turn up the heat, and in fact summer is over. Im thinking about Christmas but not in a way that says its just around the corner. I think "wow, Christmas is just around the corner but it doesnt feel like it". Its just a different feeling.
Ok, next topic. Nothing really new to report however I do have a tendency to notice things while riding the train. Sometimes they are funny but most times they are just silly thoughts. This is one of those silly thoughts.
This morning on the way to work, there was a girl holding a banana. You might think whats odd about that but I noticed the way she was holding it. As if he was holding a penis in her hand or leading her boyfriend next to her by the penis. Then I realized, is there really a way to hold a banana so it doesnt look so dirty. I havent come up with one which wouldnt look strange. Same thoughts apply to eating a burrito. Just cant do it without making it look dirty.
As for the evening, I chatted a bit online. I played with the video software that came with my camera. I realized I can take videos and burn them into VCD format which to me is cool because its new to me. It also means I can take video when I finally come back to Rochester and create more memories of the people I love and care about. Of course there will still be picture taking. Bet everyone misses that aye?
Ok, with that said, its now bedtime for me. Tomorrows a new day and hopefully work will be over and done with before I know it. By the way work sucked again today, but I wont dwell on it. :-)
To all a good night.
Ok so I will boast a bit through screen prints.....
Posted by Des at 10:58 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 28, 2004
It Moved Me and Rocked My World
Ok, so I decided I had better not push the issue and went into work today. One day wasnt enough but hey, you cant always get what you want. It was great that no one said anything about me not being there yesterday. Its kind of wierd that no one really cared I was off. Everytime Ive called in when I played hookie before, I always felt like I was getting the evil eye from everyone I worked with. Here it is different. The reason being is I work in a department of 6 people and then my boss. Only one person showed up yesterday. My boss and two others were on vacation and myself along with 2 others called in sick. Needless to say, how could anyone be upset when there was no one there to work. It was like an all around unplanned holiday lol.
Anyway, on to other stuff. I experienced my first earthquake today. It originated about 3 hours away from Oakland and although it was a good distance, it was still a 5.8 and could be felt. I was sitting at my desk, when I started to feel like my balance was off. My first thought was, Im dizzy and going to pass out. My head must be unbalanced (no jokes from the peanut gallery. I know how you think). Then I felt the chair moving back and forth. At first I thought I was doing it because I was off balance and then realized it was doing it by itself. Then I heard everyone else in the office talking about it and sure enough it was an earthquake. How exciting is that. I would take an earthquake any day over sleet and snow lol.
After work, Josh picked me up and we went to Ikea. We both decided (well Josh knew but I decided), I hate their furniture or at least most of it. We picked up a few odds and ends, had dinner there (wierd, dinner at Ikea), went to Office Depot, and came home. Now Im tired and almost ready for bed. Just had to post todays events and let everyone know.
Hope everyone is well and miss you all.
Posted by Des at 08:07 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 21, 2004
Who Rang That Bell.........
On the way to work today.
First I passed 3 homeless people. Two were laying on the sidewalk covered with blankets. The 3rd at a bus stop asleep on the bench. It really breaks my heart to see this and I think of how it compares to Rochester. In Rochester, they seem to push these people away where as in San Francisco, they seem to embrace these misfortunes. My views on homeless people have changed since moving here. Very few are pan handlers and most are truly in need of shelter. The one question I have that tears me up inside is why do they keep coming here? People seem to move to San Francisco without a place to live, a job, or any kind of support what so ever. I know because I did the same thing and was very fortunate. The difference is I knew people who would help rather than see me out on the street. I used to make jokes before I moved saying things like "I'll be dumpster diving for dinner" or "living under the bridge with an oil can heater". Those things aren't far from the truth for some people. It makes my heart melt seeing it day after day in good areas and bad. 3 people spread out through the course of a 8 minute walk seems excessive and worth writing about.
The next is the newspaper. Funny how people will go out of their way to get their liquor or their cigarettes but yet when it comes to daily events they don't turn on the TV nor will they go out of their way to get a paper which affects us in so many more ways than we realize. This morning there were two articles that interested me. First was the CBS apology for questioning president Bush's service in the National Guard. They say they were misled with false information which they reported. My gut instinct tells me George W is most likely not upset about it but rather pleased with the attention he is getting by it. Perhaps a ploy by the Republican party to win votes through lies about their own candidate?
The other thing was Governor Arnold and his approval of a bill to allow over the counter syringes to be sold at pharmacies. I guess I'm up in the air on this one. Not sure if it's a good idea but can see where some or most would agree. California however has voted it down in the past. I can understand having access without a prescription however I don't see the people who are using them for drug use as being responsible enough to go out and buy them. I do however see it as one less prescription cost which does in turn favor insurance benefits and health care costs.
The last thing was walking into the building. I watched a girl with a 3 inch heel trip on it while walking. I couldn't help but think "I walk better in those things than you and I cant even walk in heels very well". I proceeded to think about it more in terms of "how she may be one of the attorneys on the fifth floor and how she seemed like the type of person who was high on her horse. I became glad she tripped and I got to see it". I know, it sounds mean but I'm thinking she deserved it. I thought "I'm a better woman than she is" as she stepped off the elevator
Ok now for work....
Now I really realize the difference between CA and NY. I sent an email on having a monthly celebration each month and said "we could celebrate one of those stupid days. You know like Friendship Day or Arbor Day". I guess that didn't go over real well. Some people were offended. One told me "they don't think these days are stupid. God, talk about taking a joke. Guess some people out here really take these things to heart. My question is on sensitivity. Its funny how people can be so environmentally concious yet lack sensitivity. Using phrases like "I'm honest". How can people be so sensitive to the environment yet lack the sensitivity toward people? Makes me wonder about ethics and what the true meaning is behind their environmental interests. Are they genuine and truly compassionate or is it what they've been brought up to know? Did they grow up with people telling them how much they need to love Mother Earth yet lacked in the compassion for your fellow man department?
So overall its been an ok day. Im still undecided about work. I have good days and bad days however I still feel the urge to look into other opportunities. Perhaps Ill stick it out for a while and see what happens. Im not in a rush to change however it would be nice to find a job that I truly love. I just think perhaps I jumped at the first job available when I had so many other opportunities in front of me. Who knows where I would be if I took another path from the start.
Now for the evening..... Time to relax, watch Charmed, and just take a mental break from the day and detach myself.
Im sure there will be an update later.
Posted by Des at 05:47 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 14, 2004
Stupid People
This Morning…..
How does the song go? “Woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head”… That about sums it up for waking.
Lets talk about stupid people for a moment. Where do they come from and why do they exist?
Starting with last night, I was chatting online and mentioned in the main chat room that work had been a bitch of a day. Someone decides to ask what happened and I kindly said “It’s in the past and Id like to leave it there but I appreciate you asking”. Now for most people you would think that would be an indication to let it rest. Not for this moron. He proceeded to try and drag it out of me like some specific event must have happened or he must have thought I wanted to talk about it all night and drag on a bad day. Finally I had to tell him “I’m done with the conversation. Let it go!”
Here’s the scoop. As we all know work isn’t perfect. We have good days and bad days. Most everyone has them without having anything specific or major event happen. It was just a typical bad day. Some people may talk about it all night however I choose to leave it in the past, move on to better things, and enjoy what’s left of my day. Simple as that!
So morning is here and I am on my way to work via Muni/Bart. I’m not sure why I get annoyed with people however if you understand the Muni stops, it goes Castro (where I get on in the morning), then Church Street Station which both stops you enter and exit on the right hand side of the car. Every stop after that enters and exits on the left side. So what I try to do is stay on the right hand side, let the people on at Church St. and remain on that side so I don’t interfere with the people getting on at Van Ness, Civic Center, Powell, and finally get off at Montgomery. Today as I moved obviously to let people on, other people decided my space was a quick vacancy and jumped into my spot. One woman saw a guy say excuse me so he could get off and she still proceeded to jump in my spot as I let him by. Everyone this morning seems to move in the opposite direction as me. Have you ever had those mornings where everyone seems to be working against you? That’s how my mornings been.
Starbucks…. Hello, my name is stupid and I write names on a cup for a living. Busy Starbucks with lines out the door and only one register going while the other stupid people write names on a cup and pass it along. Why can’t everyone just have regular coffee and a simple order like me? Venti House Coffee Black and a Cranberry Apple Muffin. Easy! Easy! Easy! Its funny but I pick on Josh about the world catering to him (something his aunt said in humor a few months ago), and here I am venting about the world catering to me (which it should mind you because I’m Desmond and *should be thanked*). Disclaimer – this is the Oakland Starbucks and this opinion does not reflect any other Starbucks that may be out there (on the next corner that is). I’m sure the ones that I haven’t been in have very fine employees since they aren’t waiting on me. Ben, I think you are an exception to the rule and do your job very well. Come work in Oakland.
Ok now on to work. I just got here about 20 minutes ago and I’ve decided to write these thoughts down while I remember them. I’m going to try and focus on a good day but there are certain people around me who could become quite annoying. Picture it, Oakland, 2004… A man sits quietly at his desk while a straight man proceeds to inflict his straight lifestyle on the people within earshot. Setting his cell phone loud to play Ina Gadda Davida, when ever it rings (which is constantly). He uses terms like “Big Guy”, and has his email volume set on max. Go figure an IT guy (no offense to IT guys out there. Some are good friends of mine lol). Enough for now…… stay tuned for later.
…..Now the rest of the day went quite well. A bit tiring but definitely was a decent day. I decided I like the snowball effect and started to take the “do unto others approach”. You know, letting the elevator door close when someone is coming and pretending not to see them, not holding the door for people, and most of all not saying thank you when other people hold the door for me. Ok, I didn’t really take that approach but it sounded good for a bit.
Actually I did just the opposite. I decided I was going to make my day the best day ever and no one would get to me so I started becoming overly charming and nice to people and if they were in a bad mood, so be it, I would still be nice and enjoy my day. So that’s what I did.
Now the evening! Work is done for the day, I checked my email, and called my friend Nadine. What a great conversation and a great way for me to end my day. I haven’t talked to her outside work since I left and lord knows there was a lot to talk about that couldn’t be discussed in a work environment. We talked for about 2 hours and made me really miss our sharing sessions. I miss ya Na!
Posted by Des at 08:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack