March 29, 2010
Palace and my weekend
So yesterday I awake to a great day. Sunshine and nice weather. For the first time in a while, it didnt make me lazy, and I wanted to get out and do something outside the norm. I wanted to hit the Palace of the Fine Arts and take some photos at the beach. No one wanted to go, so I went alone and was very much "ok" with it.
Although generally I hate doing stuff by myself, I found being alone and out there to do what I wanted, was indeed refreshing. The Palace was closed inside for renovations, but the outside was just as great, and got some good photos.
I headed over to the beach for a bit, to photograph the bridge and marina. Stopped, had a veggie dog, and finally after about 40 minutes out, came home.
I hit the Eagle beer bust which Id like to try missing on occasion. Not that I dont enjoy it, but it becomes habbit forming. Out of the crowded bar, I found one spot which had no one around, room to move, so I just leaned against the wall and enjoyed the circulation of the crowd around me, while every so often engaging in conversation with both people I knew, and meeting new people in passing.
The person I was waiting for (my crush guy), stopped by, and we made out a bit more. I think Im really starting to like this guy but only time will tell. We went to Chaps II for a bit (you know its lust if I went there), and finally heading home.
Got home about 9pm and off to sleep for another weekend over, and now a new week begins. Although Codys (the crush guy) hours are a different schedule, we work so close together that we may just do dinner (lunch for him), and get together. Hopefully we will hang out, outside the bar soon.
WOOF
Posted by Des at 05:34 AM | Comments (0)
March 28, 2010
Puppy Park at the Powerhouse
| Last night the K9 Unit of San Francisco hosted Puppy Park at the Powerhouse. Can I just say FUN!
It was a great night hanging out with the rest of the pups, along with an unexpected encounter with someone Ive had a bit of a crush on for about a month or so now. I tried flirting with him a few times, and thought he wasnt interested. Come to find out, my senses were way off. We did a bit of snogging (ok a lot of kissing) and hopefully something more will come of it. As for the pups, they were all over the Powerhouse, romping around, messy eating, mounting, and just being pups. |
Posted by Des at 11:36 AM | Comments (0)
March 23, 2010
Busy-ness Coming Up
| So Im watching Lost, thinking how busy the next few days will be. First, Leathermans Discussion Group, topic Titleholders, which Ill be sitting on the panel. Then following directly after is the Powerhouse Renegade contest which will feed into the new San Francisco Renegade contest come April. Thursday will be judging for the Bare Chest Calendar, mind you this is all while working my 9-5 and trying to keep a good gym cycle going. All I can say is "sleep much?"... |
Back to Lost
Posted by Des at 09:05 PM | Comments (0)
March 21, 2010
Scare Averted (for now)
So back in January, I allowed myself to be put in a vulnerable situation. I allowed someone to bare back me, without discussing HIV status before hand. I know, I should have, and what was going through my head was "this is a guy EVERYONE wishes they could get fucked by, and they chose me". I allowed it to happen because a) I came off a 2 1/2 year relationship and was going through a slut phase (again) and b) the person was well known.
After the fact, I we had the discussion and found out he was positive. Yes, I let him cum inside me (among other things).
The scare changed my attitude quickly and I started longing to settle down again, wanting the intimacy, and safe space to be. After a month and a half, I finally got tested yesterday. To my excitement, the results came back negative. Since conversion can happen up to 6 months, but generally know for certain after 3, I will get tested again in July to make sure.
On another note, Vacation plans are coming in nicely. I finished sending Richard the money for the house in Orlando for gay days, so thats paid. Booked my hotel room in Chicago for IML, and bought a multi city plane ticket for about $380. For those who may not know, I am heading to IML (International Mr Leather) in Chicago for 5 days, then heading for a week to Orlando for Gay Days, Disney World, and the opening of The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios. Im now getting excited.
The house we are renting is a 6 bedroom, 5 bathroom private house, with a private pool. We will be there for a week.
Posted by Des at 07:19 AM | Comments (0)
March 13, 2010
A somewhat quiet night
Last night was the Puppy Park Play Date above Mr S. It was a good time, and I brought a friend who is new to puppy play. He had a great time which made it worth going. It was also great to see my pup family whom I feel I havent seen in a very long time. I miss hanging out with them.
I also ran into a pup that I forgot I gave him the info for the group. Cute, my age (looks younger) and someone I think I may have stuff in common with. He seemed to be content next to me by my side, and I was comfortable with that. Especially when he layed his head in my lap. Such a good puppy.
Following the Puppy Park Play Date, we headed to Edge for a drink, then I went solo to 440. Was just going to stay for one drink but met someone who was cute, who was in the process of moving back to San Francisco, and kind of hit it off. There must have been something in the air last night because I just felt it. He's finalizing things back east and has a partner, so doubt anything will come of it, but I gave him my contact info anyway.
Today was the St Patricks Day parade. Went solo and took a few pictures and decided to just come home and relax (playing Little Big Planet for a while). Soon Im off to Marlenas to meet Marlena and some of the Hayes Valley Leather Men, to view Garys (our current) video for the SF Renegade contest.
Thinking about staying in tonight but we'll see
Posted by Des at 03:41 PM | Comments (0)
March 09, 2010
sleep
I just had the best night sleep Ive had in forever. Slept pretty sound, and woke up refreshed, loving the world. Its going to be a great day, and I get my PS3 today. Whoot!
Posted by Des at 06:38 AM | Comments (0)
March 07, 2010
WOOF
Yesterday was a busy day but a good one at that. Started with coffee with a friend I've been getting to know, and coffee at Starbucks, followed by my friend Jays birthday at the Eagle.
I had a dinner date with someone whom I'm really not sure where it's going, and at the least, it can be a good friendship. Said goodbye to our past Emporer and good friend Paul Maka Poole who is moving to NY this week and had a goodbye party at the Mix.
Toad Hall, Bearacudda, and finally the Powerhouse to wish my friend Lance congratulations for becoming our newest Mr. San Francisco Leather. He will do an amazing job competing at IML in May, and I'll be there to support him.
I also had a great chat with Chris, and finally told him all the things that I'd figured out about our dynamics. I realized he was living his life, making lots of plans, and I was trying to keep up, and in turn I started following. The conflict in this, is that I have a pretty busy life, and need someone who can keep up with me. It makes it hard when two people are living busy life and going in different directions, kind of like a rubber band, when pulled to it's capacity, will eventually snap and break.
Today I'm having breakfast with a guy I've been talking to from GearFetish, who lives in Southern California, but is in town for the weekend. Talk about cute, and I'm really glad I'm getting a chance to meet him while he's here
I'll probably end up at the Eagle as usual.
- Sent from my Palm Pre
Posted by Des at 01:20 PM | Comments (0)
March 06, 2010
Good friends and fun
The San Francisco Food Bank volunteer day at work was a success. Our goal was to pack 1000 boxes in the 3 hours we were there. Within 2 1/2 hours, we packed 1350 boxes of vegetables, evaporated milk, cereal, canned beef, pasta, peanut butter, and apple juice, which will go out to various non profit organizations helping to feed cure hunger.
After the day was done, I was looking forward to having about 7 good friends of mine over, mostly puppies, for a "whatever, lets get together" night. Turned out to be about 11 people all together, for drinking, snacks, pizza, and movies. Oh yeah, there was a little bit of bondage involved but hey, thats usually the norm for parties at my place.
I cant say how much I needed that, to take a night off from all the events happening, and to also be able to spend some quality time with the friends Im closest with.
I found out my good friend George (young, cute, sexy... ok, HOT), is competing in the Truck Deviant contest on Wednesday. Im looking forward to cheering him on and really hopes he wins. If he does, then he will be competing in the SF Renegade contest coming up in April.
So after Project Runway, To Wong Foo, and a small bit of Caligula (yeah, what a combo of "gay" programming), we ended the night around 1:30am. My friend Jon stayed the night, and although he's young and cute, I wasnt (am not) in the head space to have fun with him. I think I want maturity, and its tough to find in younger guys. The older I get, the more Im comfortable with guys my own age (give or take 5 years). Im not saying that they are all mature or anyone younger cant be mature, but rather the odds are considerably higher for finding maturity in a guy over 35. Whats funny is, most of the guys (pups) who were here last night, are mostly in their 20s, and they are the proof that there can be maturity at a younger age. Of course they are also the guys who came out, and started playing in the kink/fetish scene at an earlier age as well. I wonder if that makes a difference for maturity in the younger generation?
So on to today. Eagle at 3 for my friend Jays 40th birthday celebration, dinner date at 6, and a stopping by the Mix for my friend Paul Maka Pooles going away party. Afterwards, who knows, I could do South of Market tonight....
Posted by Des at 10:09 AM | Comments (0)
March 05, 2010
Day 2 of Busy
so today starts days two of on the go hustle.... Some down time tonight with about 8 friends (mostly pups) coming over for a "Im sick of the bars, lets have a house party" night. Im really looking forward to hanging out with them, since Ive been so distracted the past few months, that its time for some down time. Especially considering the next few months for me.
So yesterday work was long and exhausting (not to mention busy). Home, a small bit of relaxing and then on to Daddy Ray Tiltons 20th Anniversary of having the Mr SF Leather title. Of course they say 7:30, but have him getting there at 8:15. Even though I could only stay till about 8:20, I went anyway. It was good to be there for Ray, since he has been a good friend since he moved back from Toronto.
So on to the Powerhouse for South of Market Bare Chest Calendar judging. Started out slow but the crowd grew and got to see some great people there that I love, and of course meet some new hot men as well (WOOF). The contestant that we all thought did the best on stage, didnt make the finals. Im not sure why, since 3 or 4 of us gave him extremely good scores for stage, and really felt he would have been a great choice for the calendar. Guess the other areas werent up to par.
Ive really been enjoying the judging although its on a Thursday and Friday morning comes way too early. I also tend to stay past the end so I can have a few more cocktails. Last night I headed over to 440 with Patrick (a finalist and someone Ive been getting to know more). Met a couple of new people there and finally home.
Today... Volunteering at the food bank here with work, tonight puppy pile at my place, tomorrow a friends birthday at the Eagle, an actual dinner date, and a friends going away party at the Mix. Hoping to make the fetish night at the Eagle after but we will see.
Other stuff happening in the next few months. Sisters in the Park, Powerhouse Pup event, SF Renegade, Pups doing the Santa Cruz board walk, IML, Gay Days Orlando (and the opening of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter). Then summer events start (Pride, Dore Alley Fair, etc..)
Finally, I didnt blog about this earlier but Wednesday night was the Edge Renegade contest, which was full of fun. Ass, Cock, Blowjobs on stage, and so much other fun stuff. The Edge Renegade will feed into the new SF Renegade contest in April, which feeds into IML. If youre on my facebook, you can see the clean pics. There are private ones too ;-)
Wish you all a fun weekend, and as always, I appreciate you in my life.
Posted by Des at 06:43 AM | Comments (0)
March 03, 2010
Trying to get in the habbit again
So Im trying to get back into the habbit again of blogging. I went over to LiveJournal for a while, blogged on both, stopped on LJ, and posted nothing for a while. Well... Now Im back, its 2010, and Im 40.
What have I learned? Nothing....
Well obviously we learn and grow, but it seems my heart still goes out, I give it freely, try and be a giving person (a nice person), and for some reason, I still dont get what I want.
As the song goes, we get what we need. I needed to go through the recent changes, in order to understand myself, my wants, my desires, and hopefully next time love comes around, Ill be ready for it (yeah, I know we never are).
This time Im sticking to the notion, I wont look at anyone who may be under 30 unless they prove themselves mature. After remembering through someone elses actions, what its like being 25, its out of control and Im no longer at that point in my life. Its too bad, because it was a fun time, just very destructive, very indecisive, and very bad for me in general.
I also realized that I have elevated myself to a place where I am above people. Not in a "Im above people" way, but more in a "Ive grown so much in myself, that some other people need to take the same time, to get where I am in life". If that makes sense. Im at a place of better standings than someone who is just starting out and young.
I promised Id be a mentor, and I am, but what happens when someone isnt ready to learn. You cant force them. I mean, you can force them in other ways, but you cant make them grow. So do I abandon, and lead by example and watch as they make mistakes? certainly! Isnt that what a parent does with their kids? Do I remain there to help pick up the pieces? A bigger question is *should* I be there for that? Do they deserve that?
Anyway, time will tell and so will the story. For now, I start back at square one... 2010 and 40. :)
Posted by Des at 05:42 PM | Comments (0)
a new beginning
So its been a while since Ive blogged. What inspired me? First, my roommate who emailed me asking if I knew he started again, the other is that blogging can be therapeutic in working out my own thoughts and emotions.
Its been rough for me the past few months since David left. I went through the "Im free, I can fuck whomever I want, and any way I want" which was reckless. I went through the emotional "I miss having substance, and intimacy of a relationship". Now Im at the "I know what I want, and dont know if I have the energy to look for it, and do it all over again".
Recently I met a boy who is greener than green. 25 years old (Im 40 btw), and looking for someone to bring him into the scene. Mentor-ship, or Daddy if you will. He's hot as all hell, and wanted by many for his extremely good looks and playful personality. The problem is he's all over the place, doesnt know what he wants, and uncommitted to anything (including any kind of relationship).
The biggest problem is, is that I wrapped up my emotions in this one, and now realizing how much disappointment is involved. Yes, Im disappointed in myself for putting so much into it (he really means well) but also disappointed in him. He just doesnt seem to get it, that if its just him taking what he needs, without giving the other person what they need (or even offering to), then its using someone. It may not be intentional, and may not be what they are wanting to do, but its still "using" either way.
The question is, did he fill a need for me in any way? Do I let him go or is there something else fate has in store for me with this? Is it teaching me a lesson? Am I failing at the lesson?
I used to be a person of faith. Faith in the universe, but right now I dont know if I can trust the universe, let alone anyone else in my life. *sigh*
Anyway, day by day right? Ill play things out, and see where my next stepping stone may be before I cross this pond to find land. (thanks for reading if your at this point)
Posted by Des at 07:15 AM | Comments (0)