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January 31, 2007
11 days and 11 times
For the longest time, I would look at a clock, receive change back, and it was always on the 11. 7:11, 9:11, 5:11, $2.11. When I packed up and sold off everything and gave up my life in Rochester, NY to move to San Francisco, my flight number was even 11.
For a while after moving here it stopped. Last summer, when Josh and I finally ended our relationship, it was on July 4th, which was exactly 10 years after I broke up with my first boyfriend (my only other long term relationship). This got me thinkig about the 11's again (7+4=11).
Perhaps 11's mean change in my life. Not just little changes but bigger, more substantial changes. With everything going on in my life, and with hope that resolutions will be made today, I realized today is an 11 day. Today is the 31st day of 07 (3+1+0+7=11). Maybe something good will happen. Im hoping.
Posted by Des at 07:32 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 27, 2007
Around the world in about 6 or so years
The other night I was in the San Francisco chat room, chatting with some regulars, and I saw a screen name pop into the room. I looked and it was a name I recognized. I investigated, and sure enough it was someone I knew from Rochester, had met in the Rochester chat room, and hung out with a few times, about 6 or 7 years ago.
I had lost track of him about 4 or 5 years ago when he moved to NYC and apparently now he's hanging out in LA with a potential to move to SF. I was in absolute shock. Its funny how you can just run into someone after so many years on the other side of the country.
Remember when people used to think meeting people on the internet was dangerous? *chuckle* in my opinion its bringing people closer together.
Posted by Des at 07:40 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 25, 2007
The Search Goes On
On my way to work yesterday morning, there was a strange guy walking down the street, obviously playing that old game "step on a crack and break your mama's back". He did well he missed *every* crack.
As for life, its been frustrating. Josh and I havent really come to any decisions but what we do know is that neither of us is going to move which means we need to find a roommate. I would love to have someone who is familiar with me and my personality (aka fetishes), but he doesnt want someone who is close to me since he doesnt want it to be a "2 on 1" type of living arrangement. I doubt anyone I know who would move in would make it that way but I can appreciate the feeling. That was one reason I didnt want his new boyfriend to move in (among other reasons). So what can I say?
We need to find a responsible person who is neutral and can afford their share of the rent each month, has a steady job, and will be comfortable with alternative lifestyles and alternative sexual interests.
The search goes on.
As for the job hunt, Ive updated my resume but still havent gotten any responses. Im getting burnt out with work already and I know its not what I need or should be doing. I need a vacation.
Posted by Des at 05:11 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 16, 2007
Lots of Stuff
So the weekend was great. Saturday I decided to go to the Lonestar beer bust which I havent done in a long time. It must have been the day to do something different. I ran into two people that I absolutely think the world of. The 3 of us had talked about spending some time together in the past and today when they asked me to go back with them to the place they were house sitting, I said yes.
Normally my fears of straying from the norm, being away from my stuff, and being confined to a place where it wouldnt be so easy to get home, would have cause me to say no but for some reason, my inner voice said "take a chance" and so I did.
We stopped at Blockbuster, rented a couplpe of PS2 games, and went and had fun. We played Mortal Kombat which I havent played in ages, and I really enjoyed hanging out with them. Im really glad they invited me and Im really glad I said yes.
It seems however that any time I stray from the norm, there is a shift in balance in my life. Something always counter acts my shift and this time it was an email from Ste3ve who announced he found an apartment and was moving out. It wasnt exactly the best news, nor the way I would have liked to have been told (by email) but considering the relationship we've always had (non confrontational, non communicative) its the only way I would have expected it.
So now the search for a new roommate or to change our living situation. Josh and I have talked a little about what we would like to do but havent really come to any conclusions. To me, its pretty simple since we have several people interested in moving in and one that I presented would be a win for everyone or at least no different than what it is now. We will see what happens and Ill keep thinking of other options.
As for my feelings, I know its transition that Im afraid of, and that everything will work out fine in the end. I just have to muddle through the change. In my own experience change has always ended up better once its over.
So things have disappeared around the house and Im realizing things I need to start replacing. Its a good thing I have a little extra this month and that tax time is coming up soon. Things that I need to get are sofa, dishes, pots, pans, glasses, cutting knives, silverwear, a storage rack, and a garbage can. Seems like most other stuff are just things Id like to have. These will all come in time.
As for work, Elizabeth has been out on vacation still and Im realizing now why she doesnt take lunch. The scheduling to meet with patients doesnt seem to allow it because some days (like today), there are patients scheduled to be met with all day, practically every hour on the hour. Unlike me, she will just suck it up and not take her lunch. She is a work-a-holic and with that, also works overtime because she wants to get everything done. Because she does it all, they keep feeding her more and more and dont see that they are overworking her. I know all this now because Ive taken on a lot of her stuff and my work load has taken a hit. Ill be playing catch up on my stuff when she gets back.
A few quick mentions. Last week, I spent a little more time with throbbin and we watched The Devil Wears Prada. I enjoyed seeing it again especially after reading the book. I was right when I thought they had changed some things but were also surprised to find there was a scene that had about 20 pages wrapped up in one 10 second scene.
This Thursday, Big Gay Movie Night at Castro Theater. Im going with my friend Jason. $6 for Moulin Rouge and To Wong Foo. Friday is Patrol. Meeting on Saturday morning. Fun stuff Ahead!
Posted by Des at 05:02 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 12, 2007
I Have To Admit, Its Fitting!
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Posted by Des at 08:14 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 08, 2007
Waking Up
In a drunken haze yesterday, I realized, that I have been pretty numb for a long time when it comes to feelings and emotions. Although I know I have a lot of great people around me who I do care about, I realized that Im just not ready yet to care in *that* kind of way. To be in a relationship more than friendship. I have some work to do ahead of me.
I also allowed myself to get sucked into a drama that Ive been trying hard lately to avoid. It was like a snowball effect. I made one comment, and then had to back it up without having the proper mindset to think about what I was saying. Things came out wrong, and I said things that shouldnt have been said. I dont think I hurt anyone but it did make me think about my life and what love could mean for me again some day. Just not in the present time.
Posted by Des at 05:36 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 01, 2007
New Years 2006/2007
So New Years was great. It was a small party and about 8 people were here. Josh and Randy stopped by as well to ring in at midnight.
kenji stopped by first on his way to the Eagle. Russet, John, Ricko & Tim, josh & Randy, Rob, & Ian were here at midnight and by that time I was exhausted.
So I finally got the place picked back up and looking like an apartment again. Now to shower and begin my 2007 by getting outside in the sun.
for those who are interested, you can view the photos
Hope everyone has a great 2007
Posted by Des at 01:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack