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December 27, 2005
Back To Work
It feels good to be back in the land of the gay. After a busy week of traveling, and rushing to Roseville to spend Christmas with Josh's family, it was nice to get home Sunday with a few hours to spare before going to bed and waking up for work.
Now mind you, while dealing with snow, ice, and cold, it has been raining daily in SF. The ants from last year (and I'm sure they were the same ants) came back to invade our home. It seems somebody killed their sister (ste3ve and I last year).
They came in by force, and our counter was covered because one little bread crumb was laying on the counter. So a little windex and a garbage disposal later, they were gone. *sigh* they will be back to fight.
Riding Muni felt weird for some reason. I've ridden the train for 1 1/2 years now and know every stop, every shake and bump, yet it felt different.
Christmas never hit SF. I mean the day had come and passed just like any other day. It was almost like the Grinch but in the opposite way.
Off to work at 6am and my first day as a trainer. My trainee was great but I think I may have overloaded him with information. Trying hard to teach him everything in the schedule, was tough but thanks to every other place being closed, I had the time I needed.
It went well overall and the day went by quickly. After work I met Josh at Powell station and we explored Ross and the Container Store for New Years Eve ideas. We managed to get champagne flutes. Guess I didn't realize how many we needed. 24 flutes and a few candles later, we headed home.
After stir fry and some down time, Josh finally went to a moving sale. He bought some great stuff. $2 bottles of wine, $2 bottles of baileys, a nice serving tray for $5, and much much more. We bought a fondue pot for Ste3ve to go with the bottle of wine we had gotten him (who has now returned home).
Finally get to open gift with Ste3ve/from Ste3ve. Josh got hemp pants and I got the bestest Gir in the world. For those who don't know, I love Gir. For those who don't know who he is, he is the robot servant to invader Zim and the star (in my opinion) of the hit cartoon (ok, not so popular) Invader Zim series.
Finally sleep. 5 hours before work again. Tomorrows a new day.
Posted by Des at 08:59 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 26, 2005
The Rest Of The Trip (Its a long one)
There was a lot going on to write about, so this entry may be a bit jumbled and hard to follow. Hopefully it will make sense but hey, Im not sure it all makes sense to me.
First off I'd like to say thank you. Thanks to my sister & Larry, Kym, Marc, Patrick, Stan & Reid, Nadine & Erik for putting us up.
The rest of the visit to my sisters went well. Josh slept in a bit after surviving our drive through the snow storm. We had mulled wine the night before and it was a chance to relax.
I went to breakfast with my mom and my sister, which was nice to spend quality time alone with them. I wanted to go to a restaurant that would possible have something other than grease so that I could bring Josh back some breakfast but Tupper Lake being the hunting/fishing/country town it is, there was nothing but grease pits all around.
Breakfast was good for me since I don't mind grease. I had a ham, cheese, and mushroom omlette. We sat and talked for a bit and I really realized how time can pass us by. Everyone is older. My nephew is driving, my nieces are dating, they are doing many of the things I did at that age. My mom seems to be having more and more health problems and my sister is playing the role of the parent in some ways.
After breakfast we stopped by the grocery store. They laughed at me when my sister asked if they have anything healthy. "like organic" they said. I hate them for not knowing but I guess if I wasn't with Josh I wouldn't know this stuff either.
I showed my sister the ingredients of the whole wheat bread which every brand we picked up had lots of crap in it including corn syrup. My sister found some pretty healthy organic cereal which actually seemed ok. That, along with some Silk soy milk, kiwi, bananas, lemons, and tuna fish, I knew it was going to be the best I could do.
Dinner at my sisters was nice. She and Josh made a pork roast with mashed potatoes and corn. It was delicious. More wine and more relaxing until we had to go to bed.
Early am we we're heading back to Rochester. Smooth sailing all the way back. We stopped at Barnes & Noble in Pittsford for coffee and headed to see Nadine.
We both agree we love her house. Her kitchen was decorated in 1950s style, a 1950s tv in her living room with 6 lavalamps inside, freak lights on the ceiling, and a jackalope head mounted to a wall. When we pulled onto her street, we wondered which house it was until we saw the giant ballon figure of the abominable snowman from Rudolph in her yard. She is outrageous which is one of the reasons I love her.
After dropping off our stuff and visiting for about an hour with Nadine, Josh and I set out for our evenings. The plan was to go to California Rolling for sushi and then I was heading out for another night of drinking at the Pub. Josh was heading off to see Bruce and visit some more while he had the chance.
California Rolling was everything we had remembered. Out of all the sushi places in SF, I have to say, the best is still in Rochester, NY. The service was great and the food was great. They accomidated our request to be out of there in an hour and they did it with time to spare.
After dinner we stopped back at Kyms to watch smallville which was a repeat and around 9pm Josh dropped me off at Tara. The plan was to meet Chris and go to see Tilt which I was anxious to see. As time got later, and Chris got there, I determined we should just go to the Avenue Pub and forget about Tilt. So off to the pub for another night of drinking and seeing friends.
Friday came early and I was up with Nadine who took me to visit old friends at Blue Cross. I wasn’t certain that anyone would remember me or that there wouldn’t be anyone left that I knew there. I was sooooo wrong. Everyone greeted me with open arms and I forgot just how many people I knew there still. It felt really weird being there, like I didn’t belong but yet was comfortable with everyone who came up to me and said hi.
I realized how much I really miss certain people there and it was really nice that I actually got to see my old friend Renee. Renee has always been someone I have admired for her work ethic and she never seems to get what she deserves from working hard and doing a great job. Im hoping things get better for her there.
Around 11:30, Josh and I went to see our friend Steve’s new office. He had just moved his practice from downtown to Penfield and was very proud of his new space. He took the place from a gutted space to a great office space with walls.
The place looked great. You walk into the front door and it already has a warm feeling to it. The high counter in front, the aquarium to the left with a liquor cabinet above it. The hall to his office in the back, passed by a nice little kitchen area and finally his office. His office was painted with two shades of green to reflect the window lighting. A few plants, another aquarium, and a lot of personalized stuff which I recognized right off the bat. His coasters with the pictures of his shitsu and pug (lucy & ethel as they are known to friends). It was nice being able to be there for him and Im really glad we got the chance. The cosmo and martini at 11:45am wasn’t something I was used to though but we survived.
We went to Hogans for lunch which was really good (as it always was). From there it was off to meet Steve again (along with Chris) for bloody mary time. God, I haven’t been to BMT in ages and it was nice to get a chance to go. Nadine met us there as well and I got to see Marty Taylor who looked good. I was afraid I wouldn’t get a chance to see him so I was really happy I had the chance.
After about an hour there, we went back to Nadines for a nap. I wanted to go out one last time on a Friday night in hopes to see a few of the people I didn’t get to see. This didn’t happen. I ended up bored at most places, remembering that every night in Rochester isn’t always a lot of fun. I remembered that most times it was pretty dead. There were many nights that friends were busy and couldn’t go out. The one reason there has been so much interaction with old friends this week, was because I was home visiting. If I lived there again, Im sure it would dwindle quickly and pretty soon it would be no different than being in SF. To sum things up, Im really glad I live in SF even though I do miss my friends so much. I guess it does make seeing each other again so much better.
So Saturday we were up at 2am after 3 hours sleep and heading to Buffalo. Dropped the car off and checked our bags. The flight was on time and we actually made it back to Oakland 15 minutes ahead of schedule. It was nice to step out into sun and 60 degree temps again. It was beautiful. We arrived home and I took my shirt off. First thing I did was go out on our deck without a shirt to feel the warmth and to smoke. Its nice to be home.
Our roommate for some weird reason, decided he would take advantage of our absense and do nice things for us around the apartment. He changed our light in our bathroom. He bought new floor matts for his bathroom and gave us his old one so we aren’t using a towel on the floor. He bought firewood. He also bought a bakers rack which we have been talking about getting for a while now. God bless Ste3ve. He is truly an amazing individual. If I haven’t told you how much I appreciate you and the things you do, please hear it now. I will try and say it more often but sometimes we forget. Anyway, thank you.
Off to Roseville.
Along the way we stopped by Red Lobster for dinner, ran around a bit looking for a CD for his grandmother and all intentions of stopping by Walmart so I can get picture frames. No success with Walmart, it was already closed.
We arrived to his grandmothers around 7 or 8pm. I was exhausted and managed to pass out pretty quickly. I felt a little bad but my body was just saying to me “you need rest”. Once in a while, there is no way to control it, your body just shuts down, and you have no choice but to let it happen. This was one of those times.
So much for Christmas Eve but today will be Christmas. We shall spend the day with his family and it should go well. Im still a bit anxious to get home and settle in. Hopefully we can be back early enough so I wont have to go right to bed. I still need time to unwind.
Posted by Des at 09:27 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 21, 2005
Hell Would Be Warmer
So the flight to Buffalo went great. I can probably chalk it up for the easiest travels I have ever done.
We left the apartment on time. I felt a bit bad for Josh because he stayed up all night packing. Either way, everything seemed to get done and a big thank you to Steve for taking us to the airport.
So the flight was on time, there was no trouble shipping the wine or luggage. About the only trouble I had was that my bag was 4 pounds over weight and I had to make some minor adjusting in order to avoid a $25 charge.
So besides that, everything went smooth. The plane was on time, the guy next to us kept to his own space, the connecting flight to buffalo was on 2 gates down, the woman on the connecting flight was pleasant and tiny and kept to her own space, and we finally landed in Buffalo on time as well.
We were expecting a snow storm or something which would ruin our first travel experience together. The weather was clear and the car rental went through without a hitch.
So this is the first time traveling with anyone. Josh and I have traveled in the past to the same destinations however it was always on different airlines, to different cities, only to arrive at different times. It was really nice to have someone familiar with me sitting next to me.
So we made it in to Rochester around 6:45. Josh's first task was to gain a heavy coat from his ex in order to keep warm. I have to say it didnt feel all too cold that night and actually seemed quite managebale as far as temps go.
It was nice to see Kym, Stan, Reid, and Patrick. Its been too long. I could tell by Kyms hug, that many of our old demons were gone and things really felt good. It felt like it did about 3 1/2 years ago before the messy dating experience I had with the psycho. Yes St3eve the psycho does have a name however I choose to refer to him as "the psycho" lol.
So off to Chris and Brians Christmas party around 8pm. It was fantastic. The first people we saw who must have been right on time, we Steve and Mark. Steve had a fantastic green shirt and he looked great. They both looked amazing and it was so nice to see familiar faces and good friends.
Kym was supposed to go but wasnt feeling well. She said she wanted to rest and pointed out the fact that I would be up and moving around, talking to EVERYONE, and that she wouldnt get her quality time in with me. I told her how wrong she was and how much I had changed. Needless to say, she was right.
I found myself waving at everyone who came up the stairs and floating around and being social. I saw many people I hadnt seen in over a year and perhaps 2 years. I actually knew most people there and have to say it was nice being at a party for a change and knowing people, not to mention having good, close friends there as well. It was like being with my family once again.
With all that said, the food was amazing. A table decked out with all these delicious treats, fountains of chocalate and if I didnt have *any* control, I could have been eating all evening. Luckily I do have some self control and only stuffed myself with about 2 plates.
Around 10:30pm we were off to bar night. For those who dont know what bar night is, its usually a theme night that is hosted by the Rochester Rams who happen to be the major leather group in Rochester. They raise money for many charities and do a lot of great things for the community.
Barnight wasnt as busy as they were in the past but it was nice to have room to move and talk to people. Josh and I did our own thing and it really felt good being home again. It was kind of odd for me, remembering the last time we were there and the feeling of needing to be seen together. It wasnt like that this time. Although we were in the same bar, it felt ok to be doing our own things. To be talking to everyone seperately and on occassion together. It felt really comfortable having a bf who I could do that with. It was amazing how things felt better.
So drunk Saturday, and Sunday to my dads. This was interesting. I just dont understand much on how they think or how they see the world. It was really nice seeing everyone, however I would have hope my cousin Paul would have been there.
Josh was at the table getting some work done on his laptop. My first thought was wondering if he would put that away and join the conversation. When he finally did, I had to think, could he get his laptop out and work again.
The reason being is my family is stubborn. They dont always see things the way I do and when we got on the topic of Laws forbidding smoking in a house where there are children, it was like going up against an army of smokers who are opposed to the government telling them what they could do in their own home.
They didnt see Josh's point, that a poor child, who has no control over what their parents are doing, are being hurt by the smoke, and being forced to inhale second hand smoke. What gives anyone the right to hurt their child? This is where Im ok that the government can create a law that says you cant.
We finally thought about it and realized why there was a disagreement. Its the fact that no one wants to admit they are or have hurt their child in any way. Who wants to be the one saying Ive harmed them. Instead, they will debate a point that everyone really knows isnt the truth. It could also be a little about selfishness an d the fact they want to smoke in their house, therefore have to figure out why its ok for them to do that. Really, Im ok either way, but do know its definitely harmful to the children, even if they do say it doesnt hurt them.
So Sunday night I went out with Jarrod and got to meet his bf of a year now. Chris5 and I hung out for a while as well and we all played darts together. Geoff was there as well and the 5 of us had a good time together despite how quiet it was out at the bars.
We first stopped by Tara where I got to see David, Bernie, Tony, John, and many many others that I really like. Then to the Forum where Terry served us drinks and got me on my way to tipsy. Finally ending at the pub, it was time to go back and crash.
Monday was the best. Spending the morning with Kym and going to see Rent. We stopped at Gitsi's for lunch before hand, and I got a Gitsi plate. It was fantastic. Cheeseburgers with hot sauce and meat sauce, topped over mac salad and homefries. Grease and more grease, tasted fantastic. You cant get this kind of food in SF.
When we finished we were off to the movies. When she asked me if I brought tissues, my response was "I dont cry anymore". About 10 minutes into the movie I was balling. It was sad. I knew that AIDS was part of the story but didnt realize the play was about that topic.
Monday night Josh and I met up with Nadine and AMY from Blue Cross and Jeffy who was at the party Saturday but didnt really have a chance to hang out with. I forgot how funny they all could be and we laughed for a good hour or two at Nasty D's. Josh left to go see Bruce again and I hung out with them. Now the cold was kicking in more and I finaly felt the temperature and was freezing more than I ever remember. I couldnt feel my ears and in that moment wished for San Francisco again. I can do this. I can get through the week.
When we were done, they dropped me off at the Avenue Pub. Marc came home to visit and everyone met me there. Things just seemed better with Marc like they did with Kym and I was really happy to be hanging out just like old times. There seems to have been a lot of healing that I never realized was happening until now. Things seemed like old times.
Tuesday morning came and we were both up early to head to my sisters. we stopped at a favorite restaurant of ours called First Taste for breakfast and then after headed out for what should have been a 4 1/2 hour drive up to my sisters in snow country.
The drive was great until we hit Pulaski. From there on out it was going to be down hill the rest of the way. We finally arrived here after about 6 hours driving through snow and more snow. There were white outs at times and we could barely tell where we were on the roads. I remembered how scary that feeling of being able to slide and hit something and not have control over the vehicle. I remembered even more why I live in San Francisco.
Josh and I determined it should be against the law to live in upstate NY. I mean, it is a health hazzard to kids right? lol....
Josh did an amazing job driving and Im hoping I didnt drive him crazy with my usual back seat driving. We made it here safely but can say, I will never be driving here in December (or winter) ever again in my life.
Last night we opened a few gifts from my mom, my sister, larry, and the kids. It really felt like family and it was really nice being here. Seeing my family has been great for me.
Im up early blogging and having coffee. Its -16 degrees outside and Im grateful Im warm. Its quiet and relaxing with everyone sleeping and being able to get my thoughts down here. Its great being able to catch a quick breath before the rest of the journey.
Tomorrow we head back to Rochester and Saturday we will be back in SF. Im excited to have this time together but very excited to be in warmer temperatures.
Posted by Des at 03:31 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 13, 2005
Ask And You Shall Receive
With all my feelings of being burnt out and jealousy of coworkers in the way of moving up the corporate ladder, I decided to circle the part on my time card asking for a review. Seems this is going to be the best way to speak my mind and let them know I want more than just the raise. I know, last week I was thankful, and I still am, however I deserve more if not for the sake of work, but for myself.
After having Fridays meeting postponed, and after being prepared to speak my mind, and having the weekend tp dwell on it, I came in Monday with all my thoughts that werw going to be verbalized.
It all happened quickly. They inercepted my frustrations, and came up to me before the meeting, before I had a chance to say my peace, and asked me if I wanted to do some training. I've wanted to get into training for a long time now and many people have told me I'd be good at it. So the frustration settled but was not forgotten. With this said, I had my review.
Weird that similar things were said about me in my review as the one I had two months ago. "You're doing a great job", "We consider you a go to guy", "you have a great work ethic", " you haven't missed a day yet".
With all those good things said, how could they pass me by? How could they do for others and not for me. I got my answer which was simple and understandable. I didn't ask.
Sometimes when you're doing your own thing, and doing it well, people think you're happy. When you do it with a smile, they think you're happy. Unless you tell them otherwise, they think your happy. They aren't mind readers after all.
So after all was said and done, I not only start preparing for a role as a trainer, I will also be in the next group of management trainees. It all goes to show you, if you don't ask, then you don't get. It also tells me my energy wasted on the past two weeks of being frustrated, were all wasted energy.
God, I should know this by now.
Posted by Des at 03:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 08, 2005
Sometimes Things Are Better Than You Realize
So lately works been getting to me a bit. Perhaps its because I haven't called in sick once in the last 6 months but I'm thinking vacation couldn't come at a better time.
Deep down I know this has been one of the best places I've ever worked but I also have it in my head that I could still do better. I have to say that with all the perks, being well liked, and hopefully as the company grows, there will be room for advancement.
With this said I've been moping a bit at the office. I've seen people wearing different hats than the norm. No one has said anything, which isn't really any different than usual, however its different than most companies. When someone leaves, it isn't announced, isn't talked about, and for all any employee knows, they are just vanishing. They don't discuss it, you just keep your head facing the computer and keep going with the motion. Its like a horror movie. People leave and no one notices.
So I've been moping a bit instead of my happy go lucky self. I think they sensed it after my request for a review which should come at the end of this week. The reason they sensed it, I'm guessing, is yesterday. I was feeling resistant and defensive. I had that "I don't care" look on my face when I got called into the office.
"Desmond" they said. "we'd like to give you more money".
Great words if I wasn't in my funk. I do work hard and deserve the money but what about fame and glory? What about fame and recognition? Oh wait, I recently obtained that earlier this week. I guess this morning, I'm thinking, I should just shut up and be grateful.
Last week I go email from the head of our marketing in Walnut Creek. He asked if I'd be willing to take some photos of Matt who was going over to live person which is the online chat service we offer on our website. I, loving photography, kindly said sure and earlier this week my picture of Matt was posted on the website. " talk to Matt " it says beneath it.
I have to say, if this is an opportunity for future photography work, I'm certainly happy with that.
So to but myself in check, which I often have to do, I have my fame, I have my raise (which works out to be on an average $1.70 per hour), I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me for me and I in turn can't tell you enough how much I love him, vacation is just over a week away, I have my bills paid, and I have a roof over my head. I've got a pretty good life compared to many.
Posted by Des at 02:48 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 07, 2005
Events of the recent past
Last weekend.
Friday night we went to a poetry reading. I have to say, although I was dressed nice and received quite a bit of response, I still felt out of place. I enjoy doing things with Josh, not for the event a lot of times, but the sake of doing things together.
The experience was nice, although I didn't get a lot of the words spoken. I did however enjoy several poems for the little bit I did catch. Most of the people there either worked at the university or were student of the poet.
The woman who hosted by offering her gallery, kept taking my picture. I'm sure this will end up on the gallery website and when it does, Ill post the link. I counted 3 that she took of me alone and then kindly offered to take one of Josh and myself.
After the reading we went to my coworker Anita's Sweet 16 party. No she really isn't 16 however she is from New Zealand where they don't have such things. She and her roommates threw a nice bash decked out in their prom dresses. Somehow I ended up wearing a dress too (go figure).
There was one moment that kind of caught me off guard and that was a brief conversation I had with a straight guy there while smoking. The conversation went as follows.
The guy: So are you gay?
Me: Yeah
The guy: So hows that working out for you?
Me: Ive been gay all my life.
The guy: So I guess its working out pretty well
Me: My partner of almost nearly 3 years is inside. Id say its working out really well.
*chuckle*.... My thought in the moment was "what a moron". My thoughts now? "what a moron".
So her roommates loved us and Josh has now become Anita's favorite boyfriend. Not just my boyfriend mind you, but her favorite ever!
So not much else happening over the weekend. Josh worked Saturday morning at Zubio. Its been cool seeing him working and doing something he enjoys doing. Last week I brought him lunch. This past Saturday it was only a cookie but I think he appreciates me stopping by which I will probably do again this weekend.
Last night I have to say was perfect. I was tired from a poor nights sleep the night before, and all I felt like doing was having a nice, quiet, relaxing night at home. I got my wish.
Josh had already prepared dinner as much as he could before heading to the office to see clients. All I had to do was cut a sweet potato, add some spices, coat it with olive oil, and throw it in the oven.
He got home around 5:45 and I built a fire. We sat down, watched a movie, drank some wine, had dinner, and enjoyed the fire. It was a fantastic evening. Those are the moments I wouldnt trade for the world.
On another note, I was thinking yesterday as I was sitting outside on the deck smoking "Im sitting here with no shirt on, and with the sun shining on me, and the cooler temps, it makes the temperature just about perfect. In a week and a half, Im going to need more clothes than God himself". How depressing. At least Ill get to see cool people
Posted by Des at 03:52 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack